Asher Roth's Crazies

In my recent attempt to become more adventuresome and push myself outside my comfort zone, I decided to attend a young, male rapper concert last night. Mind you, he is white. My friend Linds had tickets and her friend couldn’t go. I agreed to help her move her television (yeah it was huge and we’re pretty bad a*%) and then go to the concert. The concert was at the Fine Line and it has a reputation for being a more intimate setting for a concert.

Me, being the awkward individual I am who has finally developed no care for what strangers think of me, went to the front of the stage before it was socially acceptable to try and get a front row spot. I did not care, as my friend Katy says, “I am not above it.” The doors opened at 9 and that should have been my first indication that this concert was maybe not the wisest decision I’ve ever made given it was being held on a Monday (work) night.

So we're waiting and nothing happens for an HOUR. And then a DJ plays tracks for AN HOUR. Now it's 11, you figure the dj is the special guest star, oh no, there is another HOUR of special guest star thugs. Then finally this kid comes on. And we all know how well I do at standing room only concerts. It has literally been three hours of crap and standing in the front row. I am tired, I am cranky, and I am in pain. I say to Linds, if this kid isn't good, I'm calling a cab home.

Turns out, Asher Roth was actually really good and really charismatic. And everything was going really well until the end because we met these guys at the concert and they provided a 'wall' around us where no one got through. The concert was fun, the music was great and I really enjoyed myself that last hour.

Then Asher went crowd surfing and this tall brunette (more like black hair and kind of thuggish) started trying to get closer to the stage throwing her elbows (which met my head) and shoving people so I turned around and told her to get off of me and pushed her. She did it again so I turned back around and was like seriously? You need to get off of me and pushed her again and then she grabbed my arm and then grabbed my neck and started choking me! The guy in between us starts pulling her off of me because I'm shocked, I've never been strangled/choked before. Not planning on having it done again either. Then I suddenly realize what's going on and I start fighting back and I reach up and kick her in the baby maker area, really hard and she gets all pissed. And by that time the guy in between us shoves her farther back and tells her to f***ing knock it off. Lindsay has turned around at that point (once I yelled get off of me and the girl started to choke me) and she is about to punch the girl.

My arm where she got a better grip on me is still sore from her, I haven't checked out my neck to see if it's bad but I doubt it. However, I have now been Chris Brown'd. If this is what more adventure in my life gets me, next time I'll stay home and watch television with the 'devil' (otherwise known as Chanel.)

Also, just a side note, but the kid in the picture is Asher Roth. Doesn't look like the kind that brings out the crazies, does he? I mean he's 140 lbs, get serious.

Threading?

A friend of mine introduced me to this wonderful thing we like to call ‘Threading’. It is a relatively painless hair removal technique. I have not done the leg hair or under arm removal, but the facial hair removal is quick and harmless. For those of you who have not heard of this mini miracle we call ‘threading’ it is an Indian technique (as in the people of India, not Native Americans) which pulls the hair from the follicle. The benefits? Well in most cases threading is cheaper than waxing, is not putting hot wax onto your skin and ripping it off (literally, as waxing has always left my face raw) and in my opinion is much more precise with the lines. Eyebrows are $12. I would highly recommend it. Visit her at the Mall of America on the third floor directly in between Sears and Bloomingdale’s. Or call to find out more at 952) 854-1270 Perfect Brow Art right next to Nail Trix.

You Can't Take It With You...

My father is great at saving money, and like we’ve said before, me not so much. I have a shopping/spending problem.

But lately most of my ‘purchases’ have been on meals or concerts…things that drive my father crazy. Why go out to eat when you can eat in? Why go see someone live when you can listen to the cd? It never made sense to my father, and I get it. He’s about stability and providing for his wife, children and grandchild(ren). I, on the other hand, am still young and single. I get to be a little bit more selfish. I have no children or husband to care for.

Recently my friend’s family friend died. He was a doctor, very healthy never drank or smoke and he didn’t feel well and brought himself to the hospital. Two weeks later he was brain dead. She tells me, “You can’t take it with you.” I whole-heartedly agree. My equally intelligent money saving pal (the one who told me men love b*&^%es and how to shop at TJMaxx, Ross & Marshalls) tells me her boyfriend has everything so she can never find him the perfect gift but she can give him an experience.

I think that there is a balance that needs to be found. A balance between my father and his saving ways and my friends’ advice. That we should save so we can have those ‘experiences’ later on in life, but to remember to enjoy the experiences we can while we can. My friend told me, “God doesn’t promise tomorrow.” She’s right, we only have what’s here and now. It might not be equal in probability that we live or die each day, but I don’t know many people who say “Yeah, she lived just long enough.” But I do know people who made the most out of life and those who didn’t.

One of my favorite movies of all time has a quote and it goes a little something like this: “Either get busy living or get busy dying.”

Free Pizza!!

Hey Gophers! Highland Park and Grand Ave Punch Pizzas are giving away a *FREE* Napoli or Margherita pizza with the following coupon and U of M id card (Staff *or* Student). If neither of those suit your fancy use it as a coupon for $5.95 off any pizza of your choice. My personal favorite? Well that’s easy enough. Napoli pizza with some fresh prosciutto. Delish!! Oh and don’t forget to ask for the freshly shredded Parmesan cheese. And if you’re a cheese fan like Ms. Lizzy then you might want to ask for 4 or 5…..

Baggage Claim

I saw an amazing quote once on an AIM away message. And while I am skeptical of any away message wisdom, this one caught me off guard by its simplicity and its truth. "It doesn't matter if you've checked your baggage if you're still holding onto the claim ticket." I've done a lot of soul searching and questioning this past year and I think I finally understand humanity. Human beings are essentially a hurt pile of emotion looking for acceptance and validation wherever they will find it. And unfortunately we all still hold onto the hurt and rejection we've experienced over the years.

I know some will be skeptical of this viewpoint and say it's very pessimistic but I disagree with their claims of everything being wonderful and right. I look back at ALL of the fights I have had with my girlfriends, family, etc. and it all boils down to one thing, validation/acceptance.

My main problem when it comes to offending other people is that I expect everyone to know that they are always invited and always welcome. To me, friendship is about an all inclusive party where everyone can come together and enjoy the experience. There doesn't need to be RSVPs, emails, invitations (mind you I love to organize this way but just because you aren't on the email doesn't mean you are purposefully being excluded.) I have no problem with an extra friend or their friend coming along as long as there is enough time to plan out the important stuff i.e. reservations, food, tickets, etc. I also have no trouble asking if I may partake in an activity if I so choose to participate. I do need to realize that not everyone is as shameless and brazen as I can be.

What I've noticed to be the most hurtful thing in the world to people is exclusivity. You see people rearranging their entire lifestyles to be accepted to into the society they want to be a part of. Private school even if it costs you half your salary? You better believe if it will get Junior into the Ivy's many parents would stop at nothing to get it done. The problem with exclusivity in friendship is that it makes everyone around those two or three feel so inferior that they no longer wish to hang out with that clique. It doesn't matter the size of the group whether it's male, female or a combination of the two, the point is if you're creating this exclusivity you're making those around you feel insecure and unwanted. What does that matter to you? Those that you love and hang out with will make less and less effort to be around the exclusive group. You want to hang out with just each other? Fine because we're not going there. No one's self-esteem needs to take that big of a hit.

So my advice to anyone is that you may not realize it, but sometimes by creating little inside jokes and all other things we tend to do in close relationships can create tension. While it's fine to use your inside jokes when it's just the group with whom the inside joke belongs to, using them outside of that clique only serves to create insecurity, jealousy, and hurt.

Tips From A Shopaholic

There are times when I read Sophie Kinsella's Confessions of a Shopaholic and I think, this is my life minus being in England, the HOT guy, and a shopaholic mother. Truth be told, I love to buy things. Clothes, make up, food, anything. But with the economy in the crapper I thought I should def. be more shopping savvy in terms of where and how I spend my money.

Hence, this Shopaholic's Guide To Saving Money. A friend of mine is a money saving guru, and yet she came over with this gorgeous Balenciaga Cherry Red summer bag for the 2009 collection. Her secret? It isn't Daddy's credit card, her boyfriend's gift or even that she is making millions. Instead, she has found beauty and shopping secrets that give her more bang for the buck. I've decided to share a few with you each week. As not to overload you, and to help me have something to actually blog about ;)

Tip number one: Every luxury item that you can find at TJMaxx, Homegoods, or Marshall's is going to be half the cost. Now I have know about these three stores for a long time. I've gotten $200+ jeans at Marshall's for less than $25. I know all about the fashion deals, but this is more. What I didn't know was costing me money. As someone who does not have a membership to Costco or Sam's Club, buying in bulk is more of a far out dream than a reality. I go to the grocery store twice a month just to buy olive oil. Apparently in the back of the HomeGoods store there are huge containers of olive oil for $6.99-$12.99 and are more authentic and better in quality than the teeny tiny container I get at the grocery store. For me, I would probably take about two months to use that size, saving me a good $27 every two months on olive oil!!

Looking for new pots and pans? Dishes? Look no further than the home department of these discount stores. I spotted Calphalon pots with a slight scratch on them for MUCH less than you would find at any department or specialty store. Even Bed, Bath & Beyond can't compare with their low prices and 20% coupons. Looking for a nice, relaxing weekend of spa treatment? Try hunting those three discount stores for items from Bliss Spa in NYC. Items that would alone cost $60 cost about $12. It makes you wonder what else you can get for a discount.

So to summarize, check out these stores before going to regular department stores for everything from your table settings to your olive oil to your spa products to your shoes, handbags, jeans and hair products. It has it all, for much lower!!

Woof, Woof

A friend of mine recently started a dog-walking business in the Uptown area. If you have a four legged friend that could use some extra TLC during the work week be sure to check it out!! Her business is called Wagging Tails MN. Chanel uses her as a babysitter when I have to go someplace and she takes wonderful care of her. I would 100% completely satisfied recommend her to anyone in need of a dog walker or even pet sitter.

Almost Doesn't Count :(

As an alum from the University of St. Thomas, I'm very proud of our men's basketball team and their 30-1 record. Number one in the nation for division three basketball until their only lost in the playoffs. A friend of a friend of mine was one of two people to make the video which the University of St. Thomas will use to recruit future players. I hope you enjoy it.

Culver's For A Cause

Tonight, Tuesday, March 24, 2009 the Culver's off of highway 94 and Ruth Street (right by the first Sonic in MN) is giving Merck 10% of all proceeds between the hours of 5-7 pm. Merrick Community Services is a non-profit agency which helps people develop skills to obtain and retain jobs. If you are unable to attend but would like to help this non-profit out in other ways, they are looking to collect any business professional clothing you are not wearing.

Leave a comment for further information on the donation. Remember, they need suiting and interview appropriate clothing for all shapes and sizes and for both genders. If it's just sitting in your closet anyways.....

Worrying & Complaining

Over my short life, I have done a lot worrying, and a lot of complaining. The thing is, it makes us feel like we have more control of our destiny, our future. Or does it? I have had times where I lay in bed, worried beyond belief about making ends meet, figuring life out, or dealing with drama. However, I have found that the worrying makes it worse and the complaining decreases my belief in myself to get the job done, to figure out a proper solution, to make things work when all seems impossible.

It's been over a few months with our new president in office and everywhere there are complaints about what he's doing wrong. You find it on twitter, facebook, gmail, the newspapers, television, internet and even in live conversation (how technologically inadvanced).

What I have learned about complaining and whining is that it doesn't do a lot of good. Whether or not your voted for our present leader, or the previous leader, it doesn't matter. Democrats need to stop blaming Republicans for the economic mess we are ALL in. And Republicans need to stop criticizing Democrats for what they're doing now. Doesn't matter whose policy it was that got us into trouble now, we're in trouble and we better start fixing the problem instead of dwelling on whose fault it is. Because hindsight is 20/20 and it's a lot easier to point out all the mistakes of the past than to accurately predict the future.

With that being said I think that there is a lot of pressure on Obama to fix everything in our country that is wrong. I don't think that's a fair position to put anyone under, if we're not willing to put forth our best effort as well. I think that we as individuals have to realize that the power of one is far greater than that of twenty government officials. Not because we have a budget that can contend with theirs, or there is necessarily a difference in intelligence, motivation, etc. But because we as individuals have an opportunity that most government workers do not. This is not our job. We are not constrained by rules and regulations. We are governed by the law, but there is not bureaucratic red tape to have to deal with. We can find things we are passionate about and donate our time to make our world, our country better.

I personally think that many individuals want to know what they can expect President Obama to give to them. But I remind you of what another young, great president once stated "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

And if that's not motivation enough to get off your rear end and start putting your energy into something that you are passionate about, then maybe this will. What probably could get you off your rear is an incentive during these tough economic times many major corporations are encouraging their company to volunteer. Want a job at Best Buy, Target, Cargill, 3m, Medtronic? Well a majority of these companies around the cities are encouraging that their workers take portions of their day or evening and give back to the community. They do this because a lot of companies had to cut back on the amount of money they can donate. But time and energy are just as valuable of a resource in tough economic times. And the benefit for you? Well, first you can look at it as something to put on your resume. When times got tough you still wanted to make use of your time and give back to the community. You were not simply waiting for the economy to get better. You were paying it forward and helping the country get back on its feet. And if that's not enough, those previously mentioned companies and their managers are also volunteering. Meaning? Networking opportunities that can lead to job opportunities further down the road.

And if you're looking for more ideas check out Ashton Kutcher's project. Trying to get more people out there to serve America and help rebuild our country. http://bethechangeinc.org/servicenation/about_us/vision

I often think of the song "We Can" by LeAnn Rimes when I think of the economy and life in general in this post 9/11 world. You may write it off as tacky when you first read it, but if you take an extra second and listen to the message it's trying to convey, I think you will appreciate it.

They'll try to stop the dream we're dreamin'
But they can't stop us from believing
They will fill your head with doubt
But that won't stop us now
So let them say we can't do it
Put up a road block
We'll just run right through it.. Cause...

We can, do the impossible
We have the power in our hands
And we won't stop 'cause we've got
To make a difference in this life
With one voice, one heart, two hands, we can

They say the odds are stacked against us
But that can't hold us back, we will be relentless
There's a voice they're gonna hear
A voice so loud and clear
So let them say we can't do it, give us a mountain,
and we're gonna move it.. cause..

We can, do the impossible
We have the power in our hands, and we won't stop
Cause we've got to make a difference in this life
With one voice, one heart, Two hands, we can

We're gonna make a change today (make a change today)
Because we've got the faith it takes
To win this race, so let them say we can't do it
Put up a road block
And we'll just run right through it cause..

We can, do the impossible
We have the power in our hands and we won't stop
Cause we've got to make a difference in this life
With one voice, one heart Two hands,

I can (oh I can)
Do the impossible (do the impossible)
I have the power in my hands, and I won't stop
Cause I've got to make a difference in this life
With my one voice, one heart Two hands, we can

Haircut Helen

If anyone in the cities needs a new hair stylist you should definitely try my lady. She cuts both men's and women's hair and her rate? $30. Ask for Helen, tell her Courtney Beckham recommended you. Call 612.925.3000 or check her out! Oh and enjoy a head massage with each cut and a hand massage with each coloring. The salon uses only Bumble & Bumble Products. :) In addition, Helen knows of every great restaurant in the TC area.

Oh Boy!

Just came across a story online about a woman needing $53,000 a week to survive. In addition to the $36,000,000 she was already given for her divorce. Why, oh why do some women give the rest of us a bad name? And please check out her expense list which she filed with her grievement. Oy vey.

March Madoff!

I don't like pro-basketball, but I love March Madness. Something about the team pride and the competitiveness of the entire thing that makes it so intriguing. But what I love the most are the upsets by the underdog. Even the chance that the underdog can come out on top.

But what is it about the underdog that we love so much in life, in love and in sports? We always root for the little guy, is it because the majority of us are the 'little guy'?

Professional and even D1 Athletes are built differently than the rest of us. They don't like look us and most of them tower over us. We are indeed, little comparatively. I'm not saying we root for the everyday person, aka the underdog/little guy if they are non-deserving. When McDonald's was sued for millions of dollars most of us shook our heads in disgust with the greed of one individual. It was not a victory for the common man but rather proving that in America you're allowed to be stupid and get paid for it.

I think this is why so many people have a problem with the corporate scandal, greed, and schemes. Enter Bernard Lawrence Madoff. Oh Bernie. The question is not 'why are you so greedy?' or 'what made you think you could get away with this?' The real question is, 'how did you get away with this for so long?' For those living under a rock, Bernard Lawrence Madoff was the father of the 50 billion dollar Ponzi scheme. His ever-faithful wife claims she had no clue about the scheme (yeah right) and claims to be innocent. I guess the question is, what kind of marriage do you have if you turn a blind eye to your husband's illegal business operations? I believe she should be punished just as harshly as Bernie. Seeing evil and doing nothing about it for your own benefit is just as bad as being evil.

Add for those locals, we have our own version of Bernie and Ponzi in St. Cloud's finest, Thomas Petters. St. Thomas alum can take solace knowing St. Ben's appointed him to their board of trustees, and he has no ties to our school (because unfortunately, we can't handle another scandal at this point :/....)

Fat Cats Get Theirs

Another article came to my attention and this one had more to do with those disgusting bonsues. Apparently Democrats and Republicans alike (well 50% of Republicans at least) agree with the American public about these executives (particularly AIG) getting bonuses with our money. Anything above $250,000 in bonuses is going to be taxed 90% if the House gets its way. We'll be watching the Senate to see what they do to the bill.

The Walker Art Center

Just wanted to share this article found in the New York Post. Not only is it about a museum in our city (mentioned with NYC, LA and Chicago) but it talks about new things museums are doing to help the community out in this rough economy.

Times Are Tough

So with the economy in the crapper and no prospect of getting extremely better by tomorrow, I've decided I need to take some time to think about what I can do for free or cheap for fun over the weekends.

Now if you have any suggestions of your own, please comment back so we can all enjoy 'em!

Each week there's free poetry readings, dance parties, mini concerts, and much more which you can find here.

Possibly the best thing I've found is The Walker Art Center's Target Free Thursdays. Each Thursday you're invited to visit the Walker. Compliments of Target. For more information visit the Walker Art Center. Directly across from the building are two free art exhibits. The first one, a collaboration between the Walker Art Center and the Minneapolis Parks & Recreation is the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden. Most famous for its Spoonbridge and Cherry sculpture. Just South of the Sculpture Garden is the second free exhibit is the Cowles Conservatory. This contains seasonal floral arrangements and works of art like Frank Gehry's.

For some more free art, visit Ralph Burnet's hotel creation The Chambers on Hennepin. This hotel/art gallery offers two great deals. The first, a free art gallery that is partner with the Walker and the Minneapolis Institute of Art. In addition, Mr. Burnet provides pieces from his personal gallery to supplement touring artists. Current artist is David Bartley featured until April 4th. And if you're kicking yourself for missing out on Restaurant Week, the Chambers is offering their special prix-fixed menu until April 30th.

Another great place to check out some free art is at the Minneapolis Institute of Art. MIA Members donate enough each year to make admission free for the rest of us. Close Mondays. The third Thursday of every month there is a themed art night. Art and entrance are free. Refreshments are themed. Acoustic Sunrise Concerts are held on Sunday mornings in the cafe with local musicians playing.

Still craving free art? Here's a list of a few more places that offer free admission. Though free parking is not guaranteed. The Weisman Art Museum funded by the University of Minnesota has free museum admission and free admission to some events. The Bell Museum of Natural History is also funded by the University of Minnesota and is free on Sundays or if you're under the age of 3 or a student or faculty of the University of Minnesota. The Minnesota Landscape Aboretum is also funded by the University of Minnesota and is free on Thursdays. Another option is to visit your local library and obtain a visitor's pass. You can receive up to 4 passes for free visits to Fort Snelling and the Walker as long as you are a library member.

And coming in April, Minneapolis will be releasing their line up for free outdoor concerts. Check back then to find out which ones you can attend! In addition, there's free plays, movies, etc. the city of Minneapolis also offers.

And if you're looking for some free beer there's at least three free beer tours with free samples at the end. Reservations required. For Saturday tours, join those over at Summit Brewery. And for Friday night tours, join those at Surly Brewing. And about once a month Flat Earth Brewing Company holds free tours or tastings with no reservations required.

In terms of just free tastings of beer and wine, three specialty stores hold frequent events. The first is Four Firkins out of St. Louis Park. Trader Joe's hold weekly wine tasting parties at their St. Louis Park location. And Surdyk's holds frequent wine and beer tastings.

The Guthrie in Northeast Minneapolis is open all day to the public. Now if you're looking to catch a free show? Try volunteering as an usher.

Looking to visit other historic buildings? Both the state capitol and the St. Paul Cathedral hold daily, free tours.

Need to exercise, try new things? Midtown Global Market holds free yoga and dance classes in addition to poetry readings, chess clubs and other things. If you don't mind others watching you, you could save some serious money.

And if you're unemployed in Minnesota, one dry cleaners, Elite Cleaners, is offering FREE dry cleaning to you. They think this will help you in terms of interviewing.

And if you're looking for fun things to do that are cheap, check out Thrifty Hipster for great deals on Happy Hours as well.

Old Dogs Could Learn Some New Tricks

People say I'm obsessed with Chanel. That's probably because they didn't raise a pup. Now I've had other dogs, and I've loved other dogs, but Chanel is the result of my hard work, money, sweat, tears, and sometimes blood. If she is a bad dog it's my fault and responsibility to teach her a new trick, or to curb that behavior. So yes, I do spend a lot of time thinking about her, loving her, and talking about her.

Last night I was sitting in my room and watching an episode of Nip/Tuck (great show btw). And Chanel was content just sitting right next to me and chewing her bone. The point? It takes very little to make a dog happy. Though they need food, water, and sometimes treats and toys, what they appreciate the most is love and affection.

Today I sat at work and read what AIG CEO had to say about their bonuses. And while it's clear that the blame should not be shifted completely to AIG, that the people they have contracts with should also be held accountable for accepting the funds when they know they came from a bailout (taxpayer money). I have to wonder, after a certain point, why do you need that much money?

In the letter, which btw, if you haven't read it the letter to the President and the lesser known 'white letter' the CEO tells the President two key things (well I'm sure he thinks otherwise, but here is what I took away from it). The first thing is that top AIG officials will only be paid $1 for the remainder of the year. And the second thing is that these bonuses are necessary to retain the best and the brightest.

The problem I have with the first point is that he believes that this shows restraint and control by AIG. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against top officials of companies making the big bucks. I do believe if they are making the company run, they should get compensated accordingly. And I believe a company is entitled to bonus out whomever they want, when it's their money. The problem is not that they are giving themselves large paychecks or bonuses, it's that it's being done with U.S. Citizens money. Money that could be going towards increasing the salaries of teachers, people who educated and mold our youth. But instead are going towards crooked businessmen.

Again, I understand that acquiring and keeping the biggest, brightest minds requires throwing some cash at them. However, I don't see how there couldn't have been an arrangement made that once the taxpayer money is paid back the bonuses will be paid out plus interest. Probably would have cost AIG more in terms of money, but less in terms of reputation.

My question to you is, would you trust your money with AIG? Even if they are worth billions of dollars it is obvious to me that their money management for day to day expenses, their liquid cash if you will, is at great risk. That if they are as flagrant with the government's money as they have shown us to be, what will they do when they aren't under the media's microscope?

And to be fair, it's not only AIG that is carelessly spending money on retreats and bonuses. Northern Trust spent $12 million dollars to have Sheryl Crow come and perform for their company to 'boost morale'.

Cutting back isn't easy for anyone, especially this shopaholic. However, we could all take a cue from Chanel and just be happy with the basic needs covered, a good bed, good food, and good company. Who needs private jets when you've got friends and family who love you?

Paddywagon

Top o' the Mornin' to ya!

My friend's, "brother's" Uncle is playing in a band tonight at the Dubliner in St. Paul, MN. They are an Irish band, full of drinking songs and swear words. The admission is free, although you do have to stand outside in a tent. If you're not doing anything else swing down to Vandalia and University and have a pint o' Guinness and listen to some good ol' Irish tunes.

In Minneapolis - my favorite college aged bar Bootleggers is giving away Green Beer (I'd rather have a apple green martini but hey, this isn't all about me).

And if you're in the neighborhood of where we live, we'll be serving up Rubens, cabbage, and potatoes. Please don't "No call, stop by".....

Irish Asian

When I was little and didn't understand race, ethnicity, etc. I told everyone I knew I was Irish. My mother and father are Irish, and they would tell us when we were celebrating St. Patrick's Day or explaining about the many Claddagh rings around our house that WE were Irish.

My understanding of the English language at 5 is obviously much different than it is now as 20+. So I went around telling everyone I was Irish. I was raised Irish, I followed the Irish (Notre Dame) and I loved Corned Beef and Cabbage. It made no sense to me that my Asian features made it impossible for anyone to believe I was truly Irish.

Last year I lived with a girl and she yelled at me all the time. There was nothing she loved more than to make others feel bad. So when I was telling this story she thought it best to put me down and say, "You're not Irish, what are you dense?"

Now my parents already had the talk with me about being Asian, and I understand that. However, from my Race & Ethnicity class I learned that race and ethnicity are merely cultural and are not concretely defined. The definition of 'Black' varies from country to country based on shade, upbringing, etc. There is no gene that unite all Irish people, or any 'people' for that matter. To be Irish is technically a cultural upbringing and a state of mind.

So I hope tomorrow brings out the spirit of the Irish in you. But for me, I always was and forever will be Irish.

Sittin' Pretty

Last night Chanel had a doggie play date. And a few weeks ago she met a never socialized dog. The dog last night was a black lab. The dog a few weeks ago was an Irish Wolfhound - Lab mix. Lately I've been thinking a lot about what shapes us as humans, and though it may sound silly, I think the same is true for dogs.

While Chanel has tons of flaws (and to be honest, I probably have three times as many) she is extremely good with other dogs and with people. I take no credit for that at all. We speak two different languages, she only learned how to behave as my dog for me, she learned how to behave around other dogs from, well, other dogs.

My Uncle John told me once, the goal is to have her meet 100 other dogs and 100 other humans in her first year, maybe year and a half. I wonder if we as humans, need to start thinking like this as well. If my dog needs to meet 100 different people and 100 different dogs per year, maybe I should reconsider what I need to do in order to grow as a person.

Lately I've been busy doing self-reflecting. While I am coming to value this in my daily life, I can't help but wonder, do I need to be more like Chanel? Should I be more willing to get out and meet other people? Maybe I should have to meet 200 different people and try 100 new things. I don't know if there is a quota, but I think the point my Uncle John was trying to make was, I alone was not enough to socialize her.

I hope you join me for the next year or 100 new experiences (whichever comes first) as I try and find a little self-growth by doing and not thinking.

Are You There God? It's Me, Courtney

I was raised Roman Catholic, and while I am glad I was for the moral aspect, I am no longer practicing. What I've learned about prayer came more through experience and this email chain than anything else.

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. So, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while."

In my life, I have been carrying an emotional burden for the past four years. And it has been a hard four years. Many other troubles entered my life, I believe it's because I was being weighed down by this burden. It wasn't until I met my friend Andrew who taught me how to pray. At first it sounded too simple. How could it even work? And then I tried it, and strangely I felt better. Now I don't know if there is a God or not, and that's not a debate I am ready to tackle. What I do know, is that even if there isn't one, praying to him lifts my burdens. My prayer is simple, it goes something like this.

"Dear God, the universe and spirits. Please give me the strength to get through this. I'm putting it out in the universe, I am asking you to help me carry it."

In many ways it reminds me of my favorite verse in the bible: "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Buf Mozz Upgrade

I do love pizza, and just as I was dissing technology I received this email from Punch Pizza telling me about their free upgrade on the cheese if you print off the attached photo and take it in to them. First come, first served. Supplies are limited as it is one of the best pizza joints in town.

Hope you enjoy it!!

Technologically Advanced?

Yesterday Brian's bookkeeper came in to do expenses and what not on my computer. Which meant I lost my computer for about two and a half hours. I dread being away from my email, my ability to look things up for clients, and of course, my blog and gmail. The two and a half hours went by quicker than the entire rest of the day. I took a stack of paperwork I had been slightly putting off and went to town, resolved issues with other companies (who had previously been avoiding my phone calls) and contacted several clients for meetings. While it seems trivial I think back to the days of sophomore year at UST.

My sophomore year I put my subwoofer behind my monitor. It started to have these green stripes across it and look funny and then one day, kaput. Gateway informed me that I was the dumb*** who stuck a subwoofer behind the monitor so no it was not covered under my warranty. Crap! What was I going to do without a monitor? Well, let me tell you what I did. First, I did my homeworkk out in the hall and went to the library to do essays. And my grades were the highest they have ever been in college, 3.8 (although to be honest I only got the one B+ because I was writing a paper dellusional due to the flu and lack of sleep.) Second, I brought my monitor home in my suitcase, somehow they let me carry it on the plane, and then had a friend look at it. My parents gave me their screen and purchased a new one for themselves. I proceeded to carry my monitor on the plane again and was set. And ever since then my grades were not 3.8's. They were good and I can't complain. However, this has led me to wonder, what's so advanced about computers?

I get that they can find things at lightning fast speed, making searching for things easy, and are all around fun. However, in my experience it seems that certain individuals (i.e. me) are less productive when I have a computer at my disposal. I can find a billion things to do other than my school work. It was so easy to procrastinate. And then I would stress out about not having enough time to do anything when in reality I had wasted so much time on the computer it was sickening.

So my question is, do you think computers have helped us more or hurt us more? People send emails instead of snail mail, video chat and online date instead of meeting people in person, etc. Have they hurt personal relationships or strengthened them? Have they helped increase productivity or decrease by causing distractions?

Why Men Love B*%$#es

My wonderful friend told me I had to read this relationship book. And read it I did. Almost 241 pages in one night. It's an easy ready, very entertaining, and very insightful. While I know some of the points are overdramatized the message is the same. No self-respecting man wants to be with a woman who can't value and respect herself.

It's really quite fascinating that we, as women grow up in such a weird way. We hate when our girlfriends devalue themselves for a man, we cringe if a guy comes across as too needy, and we wouldn't dare date a loser if our lives depended on it. However, when it comes to our own dating situation we fall victim to the same habits and traits previously described.

Why is it as women we cannot see that we don't like clingy men, so we probably shouldn't be clingy women? When have you ever heard someone say that the needy chick or the desparate girl was attractive? Why is it if a guy has no outside interests or opinions or drive we can't find him attractive but when we get into relationships we drop our friends, drop our activities, stay by the phone waiting for his call? We don't voice our opinions because they may not be what he feels and we think that being this way is attractive to him.

My favorite part of the book was early on. The talented writer so wonderfully observed, "I have yet to see a men's magazine lay out recipes for guys to make you a four course meal. The closest I've seen was in the fitness section and it combined egg whites with wheat germ." The point she's trying to make and the one that my friend told me as well is we should be mirrors in our relationship. While that does NOT mean we should dress alike, have the same interests and be exactly alike, it does mean you should never give more than you receive.

I have the chronic problem of giving more than I receive. I am willing to bend over backwards for friends, guys, bosses, give everything until I feel drained and then not only do I suffer, my relationships suffer as well. I am no longer the fun, happy person I once was that attracted my friends to befriend me, guys to hang out with me, and my bosses to look at me as an equal. I devalued myself by not respecting myself.

Another point in the book was about a girl whose boyfriend treated her so badly she told him she was going home right once she was finished doing his laundry. He told the author, "I would have valued and respected her so much more if she had just said screw you and walked out." His point? Why do you allow him to treat you like crap and then still do him favors?

I think it has something to do with how women are raised. Men are not stupid, and it pains me to say that women have let men shape them. Why do women give so much in the beginning of the relationship when men are giving little? How can we then expect him to give more for the exact same amount that he was receiving before? The old saying is "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?" Why would any logical man make any effort if you're doing all the work for him?

I came to realize that men are not the enemy and they are not all @$&holes. What they really are is hard to say because we don't want to. They're intelligent and lazy. And they know exactly how much work they have to do in order to get what they want. I used to think that was selfish, but in reality it's practical. Why go to the moon and back if some girl is willing to let you have whatever you want whenever you want.

Queen Of Passive Aggressiva

Yesterday, my friend came over and was sick. The remedy? Dr. McDreamy, and lots of it. While watching the first season, all the hilarious quotes and moments came to mind and conversation. We exchanged quips about what was said, what was going to be said, and just in general laughed loudly.

Approaching the season finale, we knew Addison was coming. And although I hated Addison at the beginning, I grew to love her. One of my favorite lines that McDreamy ever said was to Addison. "There is a land called Passive Aggressiva and you are their Queen." Now if you know the show he is not one to talk. He could of told Meredith about being married several times but it was never mentioned. A little bit of the pot calling the kettle black.

Recently I've talked about trying to become more direct, and I am trying. It's slow at first, saying the little things that don't really hurt anyone's feelings and by saying them do no harm to relationships. And it was scary at first, but it's getting easier. However, there are always going to be a few people in your life that make being direct difficult. I can count those people on one hand, and I know exactly why I avoid the whole truth with them, they simply do not respond well.

These people are direct, they are honest, and they have no problem telling me what I am doing wrong. A prime example is my father. He is very honest, very direct, and I never am left guessing how my actions are affecting him. In every way my father is direct and forthright. However, when it comes to discussing things with him, I am less than direct. I avoid talking to him in general if not just about the subject.

Why is it that telling the most direct people the truth is harder than others? I think it has to do with the fact that most of these people are used to telling others exactly what's up. But I don't know if my father has had a lot of people serve him the same amount of honesty throughout his life that he delivers. I know for me, it's always difficult to hear the whole truth, but for someone who's used to delivering it, I fear it can be even harder. The reaction is not always pleasant and it seems that sometimes they are more sensitive to complete honesty than one would expect.

It's so much easier to be direct and tell the truth and understand it can be hard to swallow. But it's completely different hearing the whole truth, and sometimes hearing things you don't want to hear.

I guess my question is, how do you respond correctly to direct, open and honest conversations? I know that when I have been on the receiving end I usually smile awkwardly but inwardly feel like a beaten dog. Does it get easier when we get older or does age have nothing to do with it? Is it more about practice makes perfect?

Why Can't We Be Friends?

Yesterday I was watching Friends, one of my favorite television series, and it pained me that this scenario was pretty much impossible. Now I'm not talking about the great jobs, the great outfits or even the great apartments that they owned. What I'm referring to is the fact that guys and girls can be just friends.

I remember high school and my first year of college where I had equal guy friends and girl friends. It was refreshing! There was less cattiness and spending time with different groups of people with different interests kept things interesting.

My first year of college was at Colorado State University. And while I knew the college wasn't for me, they at least encouraged healthy opposite sex relationships. My sophomore year I moved to Minnesota to attend the University of St. Thomas. While it was a better fit for me academically and geographically speaking, it lacked something my public college had offered. At CSU I lived in the same hall, on the same floor, and even next door to guys. They saw us in our sweat pants, they saw us fight, they saw us sick and they saw us PMSing. It helped them understand females, and in all fairness, it helped us understand males. When I would get sick it wasn't my roommates or my suitemates that took care of me, it was Will and Todd, the two guys across the hall. They were both on the golf team and both transfers. They would periodically bring over otter pops, only the kinds I liked, already opened for me. Every time they went to the cafe they would bring up soup and crackers for me. They were great guys and I enjoyed my time with them. We discussed the weather, our hometowns, exes, it was an honest, healthy friendship. And I would say they were my favorite two people I met on that floor, just because I didn't expect to befriend them.

Fast forward a year and I'm at St. Thomas. I'm living in what alum call the virgin vault. When St. Thomas started it was an all boys school. When they finally allowed women to attend and live there, they were afraid for the women's safety. UST was one big frat house. To this day, men and women live in separate dorm halls. There are visitation hours. Even the two on campus apartments the floors are all boys or all girls. Which I never understood because there were a few handicapped males in wheelchairs who had to live on the second floor. In the case of a fire emergency that would make it difficult to get downstairs. But what do I know? In terms of male-female relations, I don't believe St. Thomas promoted healthy views of the opposite sex. Women went to class in high heels, short skirts, dressed to the nines with make up done like they were about to perform on Broadway. It was a totally different experience that I think was actually a negative experience.

I found it more difficult to make male friends, and the ones I did were in the Air Force, meaning after graduation I'd probably see them on the rare occasion they got to come back home. Men had this skewered idea of what women are really like, it was bizarre and in my opinion unhealthy. I guess my question is why is it a sin for men and women to live on the same floor, even next to each other?

I know UST thought that if they allowed men and women to live on the same floor there would be promiscious sex everywhere. From my experience, no one on our floor 'hooked up' without forming a real relationship. We all were friends, made easier by the fact that there was testosterone there to balance out the estrogen. There were cliques and groups but I could go into any single room and hang out and talk with any one on my floor at CSU and enjoy myself. And I know that everyone else felt the same way. Unfortunately, I'm afraid my experience at UST was very different and not for the better.

Trainwreck

Yesterday I met a woman who seemed to be a trainwreck. I met her at a company meeting, and she was a prospective rep, looking at joining our company. When I first met her I thought she was weird, but I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

First she started telling us about her divorce, her children, and her job search. Things were going smoothly. I left and talked to a few other people and came back to hear her describe her sexual escapades. This mother of three was sleeping with one guy, becoming exclusive with another guy, and online dating a third guy. This is not why I feel she was a trainwreck, what she wants to do in the privacy of her home is none of my business. However, her attending this meeting was part of the interview process. Every word, every mannerism is seen by the recruiters, the company, and most importantly the boss.

Now I would never tell my bosses what I've done with any guy on a date. I would probably not even tell them that I had a date. But here she was blabbing about hooking up with this guy the day after she had become exclusive with this other guy. And our head boss was walking around and talking to people within earshot. How do you tell a woman, much older than yourself, that her stories are completely inappropriate for an interview?

My friend and I were discussing common sense, and it seems like these days people don't have any. There are things about life that seem so cut and dry to most of us, that apparently are not to everyone. Everyone I am friends with knows it's inappropriate to be referring to men as booty calls and describing the sex on an interview. And my friends are in their twenties, not their late thirties. Oy.

Money Isn't Everything

I am bad at money. I will not try and deny this simple fact. There are areas of my life which I believe I excel in, shopping is one of them. Managing my money? Not so much.

My father can and often will attest to this fact, I struggle with money management. I have a hard time living within my means, and he has bailed me out in the past, more times than I like to admit or he likes to give.

I am learning my lesson about spending wisely, saving more, and most importantly budgeting. And while I agree that knowing how to manage your money and save are important factors in life, I have found that money isn't everything.

Sure, money makes everything easier. Not worrying about the mortgage or the bills would be nice. And being able to escape reality with vacations is another plus. But to the dismay of my father I have spent my life learning about what money can't buy and what unfortunately does not get me paid in the end.

What I have learned in my 20+ years is that all the money in the world can't buy you loyalty or friendship. That money makes life easier, and without it life would be very different. However, the government provides assistance for people who have the misfortune of having no money, no skills, etc. There is no agency in the world that can provide you friendship and loyalty if you don't acquire the skills to attain those assets.

Last night my friend of 5 years, my first college friend to be exact, had a family emergency. She was experiencing something I have never had to deal with, and that most of us will never have to deal with. And while money will make that family breathe a little easier in terms of bills and mortgages and education and retirement; what she needed most was a friend. She needed someone to drive her to the hospital, to listen to her concerns, to tell her everything would be all right, and to hold her hand when it seemed it wasn't getting better. Money, would make her problems easier, but it wouldn't make her feel better. Only friendship could do that.

And so I know my father wishes I was better with my money, but I hope he can be proud of the fact that I've acquired skills to be a better person, better friend, better daughter, and one day a better wife.

So I'm sorry Dad, but I'd rather be a better friend than great with finances. And while I know one does not need to exclude the other, I'm glad I took the time to learn how to be a friend first. I have the rest of my life to learn about money.

Death And All His Friends

There are certain events in life we don't imagine having to deal with before a certain point in time. We never imagine having to say good-bye to our classmates when they pass away just a few years after graduating high school. We always imagine our parents there to walk us down the aisle, hold our hands at the hospital to welcome their grandchildren and be there with their everlasting wisdom when times are tough. And I know that my parents would tell me that they will never be ready if one of their children died before them. We seem to take certain events in our life for granted.

I have known this family for years. His mother was my brother's boss, mentor, and friend. His older brother was on the swim team with my brother and they were close friends. This young man was a classmate of mine, and a friend since we were very young. We went to high school together and he was a good guy. He was very in shape and athletic, not someone you would typically expect to have heart problems. A few years after high school and co-worker told me that my friend had passed away in his sleep. His parents were out of town and the two brothers threw a raging party. He passed out and his brother cleaned up. The next morning he didn't wake up. His parents came home to find their youngest child dead. I don't know what kind of grief and heartache they had, and I hope I never have to find out. And I hope my parents never have to find out.

This past year a classmate and teammate of mine from high school was dealt a similar hand. Her older brother passed away in his sleep. He was also in great shape, very healthy and happy. It didn't make sense. She was so shaken to her core she moved back to Colorado, broke off her engagement and is now dating one of his best friends. Neither of these two boys had a chance to grow up, to see their full potential. They didn't get to contribute to the world all that I know they had to offer.

Yesterday, my best friend told me that she was about to experience the kind of heartache that I have only had nightmares about. Her childhood best friend was about to experience the loss of a parent. And as I read her email telling me the shape of the night, the 'sending service' and her friend asking all the questions I would imagine I would ask, it makes me wonder why do bad things happen to good people? Why do we take life for granted until tragedy occurs? Do we tell the people we love the way we feel often enough? Do we take enough chances?

I guess it was a wake up call. In my life my biggest fear was rejection and humiliation. Now my biggest fear is not living. I hope I never again 'play it safe' to avoid getting hurt. If I were to encounter the same fate as any one of the wonderful people mentioned, I hope that I can leave here knowing I lived as much of my life as I possibly could. That I never shy away from an experience that may be difficult, but in the end worth it. I want to tell the people that matter the most to me that I love them. I want to make a difference on one person's life, and let people make a difference in my life. I'm sorry it just took such an awful, heartbreaking experience of one of my best friends for me to wake up to life again.

Competitive Nature

All of my life I've been competitive. I thrive on competition, deadlines, stress, and pressure. While I always realized that not everyone works this way, it wasn't until this year that I was told it's not the healthiest way to live my life, and it's not necessarily fun for those around me.

Growing up with three siblings definitely contributed to my competitive nature. It's hard to feel like you have something to offer the world when each of your siblings have special talents, gifts, abilities. My oldest brother can tell a story better than any individual I've ever met. He can captivate an audience better than anyone I've seen. My older sister is virtually perfect in every aspect of her life. She's very intelligent, very artistic, musically gifted, athletic and outdoorsy, a great cook, hairstylist, computer genius. The list never seems to end. She can play at least three different instruments, speak multiple languages, has her masters degree and is married to one of the best guys I know. Even my other brother had a great sense of humor, was easy going, carefree and happy all the time.

It's hard growing up with such individuals, because even though they're my siblings, we weren't as close as I wish we would have been. There's a five and a half year difference between me and the youngest of my three siblings. And while I wouldn't change that for the world because I think it has shaped who I am and what I'll be, it gave me many misconceptions. I know now that none of their lives are perfect, that none of them are perfect. But when I was growing up, it seemed like Brendan was the entertainer, the popular guy. Shana was the perfect daughter, doing everything well. And Colin was the easy going guy that everyone wanted to have around. My perception of reality made it difficult for me to determine what I was going to be, what I would offer to the world, and to my family.

My friends tell me I'm overly-competitive, and they are completely right. There are aspects of my life that I feel the need to win, succeed, etc. When in reality, there's no prize for winning, there's no benefit to that minor success, and I'm the one who ends up losing out on just enjoying life or the moment. And while I agree that I need to become less competitive about certain aspects of my life, there's areas I refuse to let my competitive nature die out.

Before, my view of my 'competition' with my siblings was one where I wanted to be better than any of them at what they specialized in. And while that would be difficult in any case, it's especially challenging when you have three siblings who are all extremely wonderful and talented in their own ways that are completely different than each other. For so long I couldn't see past what they were good at, I only saw their accomplishments, none of their failures, weaknesses, etc. I didn't see that none of them were competiting with eachother, I was the only one doing that.

I had to finally realize that the competition couldn't be with them, but with myself. Am I a better person today than I was yesterday? Did I fail at something so badly and still pick myself back up and try again? Did I try something new? Am I proud of the person I have become? Would I want my parents to know exactly who I am? Would I want my neice and nephew to simulate my behavior?

I think that my competitive nature will always keep me trying to better myself. Though, thanks to my friends, I hope I channel my competitiveness towards a better cause that allows me to be happy, set realistic expectations, and pushes me towards something better.

Restaurant Week

Every year, Minneapolis St. Paul Magazine and local, classy restaurants throw together an event. It's called Restaurant Week, clever, I know. What happens is there is a prix fixed menu that you can have for one week only. A lot of these places don't have one item for $30, let alone appetizers, main course and dessert.

The hard part is, you only have one week, and that's too little time to go to every restaurant. So do you pick your favorite places where you know the food is good and get a meal that is different than what you love? Or are you adventurous and try new places, with new tastes because they picked items on their menu that reflect their take on food?

If you would like to participate in the annual event please go to www.mspmag.com

Always Contradicting

If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's "Do as I say, not as I do." My mother was the first one to tell me that contradictory phrase, and I was always questioning her about it. She finally told me that I had to listen to her and do what was best for me, even if she didn't do what was best for her. It didn't make sense to me back then, and it still doesn't make sense to me now.

The older I've gotten the more I find that being direct and saying what you mean and meaning what you say are almost obsolete. I find this is that much more true in the world of dating, love and sex. I cannot tell you how many times I hear women say they want a nice guy and then settle for the jerk. How we, as women, will tell any one of our girlfriends not to tolerate xyz and then let it happen to ourselves. How guys tell girls they hate drama, want a girl who understands them and then go for a girl who is the most dramatic, clingy, needy being, and then complain about her.

So why is it that we are always contradicting ourselves? Is it because emotion overrules the thought process? Or is it because deep down we're too ashamed to admit what we really want? I'm not saying all girls want to date a jerk or all guys want to date a needy girlfriend, however, I think that if these people really respected themselves they would do what they know is best. I think that the fear of being alone is so crippling that people will put up with so much to avoid that feeling.

In reality I know that deep down we all know what we want, what we deserve, and what we settle for.