My Food Revolution

There's the difference between knowing and doing; knowing what is best for ourselves and actually doing what is the best for our health, financial security, happiness. I've known for a long time that fast food is bad, that processed foods aren't the healthiest, and that there are some scary things going on with the FDA. I've known and never fully committed to changing my lifestyle until now; I can't wait any longer to take my own health into my hands.

I am the average American woman. I'm around a size eight (which is horrifying to admit on the web but also necessary for accountability) - I've never participated in any fad diets, and just recently as my metabolism has slowed down due to hitting the big 26 last year I have finally started to somewhat track my calories.I'm not the girl who obsesses over size, health has always been more important to me. I ate what I wanted, refused to feel guilty, and tried to balance in fruits and veggies when possible. I fit in clothing sold in department stores, can run a mile without a problem and can probably train for a 5k in a month or less. I am hardly what I would think of as at risk for health. However, the growing epidemic of obesity combined with the fact that I have no family history at all has forced me to take pro-active measures to my own health. As an adoptee without any knowledge of cancer and heart disease history I need to make sure what I am doing is beneficial even if there is a history. I need to take care of me.

So what sparked this change, this drastic new view on food and lifestyle? It wasn't an overnight awakening but rather a gradual understanding and awareness of what we are truly doing to ourselves and our health. It started with the documentary 'America the Beautiful', I watched this documentary with my sister and brother in law over Christmas vacation in 2009. I was stunned by the revelations, even had a post drafted but left it un-posted. Then there was an author (who for the life of me I cannot remember his name) on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart talking about his new book (which had a big carrot on it.) He was there to discuss food and health. He made a statement that until healthcare cannot be denied to anyone the health industry won't care about our health and the McDonald's and Burger Kings of the world won't be held accountable for pumping us full of sodium, processed food, saturated fat, etc. It was a surprising statement to say the least but I never sought out the book. I was still unmotivated.

Enter Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution campaign and show on ABC. Food Revolution is partnered with the American Heart Association and Ryan Seacrest productions. Funny mix? Not really as the AHA needs an ambassador to reach out to the masses and connect with them to help their see the light. And Seacrest? Well for this show to help more people it needs to reach the masses. If he can make the Kardashians worth watching he can make something intelligent and necessary worth watching. I watched the first episode last night on my iPad after eating fast food. I've never felt so disgusting before. While I could tell you everything you need to know about the show it would be far better if you watched it. You can head over to abc.com and watch the episode on demand. You'll never look at a hamburger the same way again. But maybe that's not the worst thing in the world.

My decision to change my eating habits will be gradual, much like my understanding of why the natural foods movement is the right choice. I'll be documenting my choices and sharing any tips I find along my journey. And if you have any reading material or thoughts about the natural food movement please share, I'm more than happy to read anything on both sides of the story.

You Don't 'Get Old', It's Called Being Boring

This weekend in Minnesota was gorgeous, weather in the 50s with sunshine and the trails were filled with bikers, runners, people walking their dogs, and those roller blading. Saturday and Sunday I joined the masses, taking my dog Chanel on a 3.5 mile walk both days. The warm weather isn't something we take for granted in Minnesota. As soon as the weather lightens up the patios are filled during lunch and Happy Hour, people begin sporting Spring clothes at temperatures the rest of the United States would still be in winter jackets.

On Sunday after taking the dog for our walk, I spread out on my bed feeling like an old lady when I saw Matt Wertz tweet about the Varsity Theatre (in Dinkytown) and how tickets were still available. I panicked, how did I not know he was going to be here? More importantly, who could I find to go with me at such late notice? I sent my thoughts out to Twitter and waited for someone, ANYONE, to say they'd love to come with me. All of my friends encouraged me to go, though none were in the area to come with me. In fact, Matt himself tweeted at me that he thought I should come. It was cute to say the least. Tickets were $15 and the doors opened in less than fifteen minutes. Still lounging in my yoga pants and t-shirt I had a decision to make: Do I stay home and be old and lame or do I go to the concert by myself?

That moment it crossed my mind, we don't get old and want to stay home and do the more practical things, we get boring, comfortable, and lazy. I'm 26 years old, when do I stop being spontaneous and start clipping coupons on weekends considering it to be an activity? I decided not this time, not this weekend. I can get old and boring another year, I'm not getting old without a fight. I'll go to concerts on a whim by myself, try new restaurants, do things that scare me, whatever it takes to stay young at heart. Every day could be our last. How awful would it be if I missed out on a great concert by one of my favorite artists because I put it off? No one ever looks back and regrets the fun things they did, they regret the things they wanted to do but were too scared or lazy to do. So at least once a week when all I want to do is lay in bed and watch tv I will instead do something new. Awhile ago I wrote a post on inexpensive things to do in the Cities, I'll be slowly marking things off my list as the year goes by.

The Ultimate Single Project

This past weekend my cousin Brittany got married. It was a beautiful wedding in Palm Coast, FL at the Hammock Beach Resort. It was wonderful to see my family, lay out on the beach, eat, drink and be merry. So when the reception rolled around and they started playing 'Single Ladies' by Beyonce beofre the bouquet toss and I was standing up there having a mini crisis about being 26 and still terminally single, I made a deal with myself.

IF I am going to be attending weddings (next one is my girl Kiersten's wedding on my 27th birthday in Vail, CO) then I need to make it more fun. So my two options are: A) Do something unsavory and possibly requiring vaccinations afterwards. OR B) Learn the Single Ladies dance and rock out before the bouquet toss next time. While both are enticing, for the purposes of not receiving a phone call from my mother I'll choose option B.

So here's my goal: Learn the Single Ladies dance before August 13, 2011. I'll break it down on hard it is, tips to help you learn how to do the dance and of course, all the major goof-ups I've had (because let's be honest, this is a gong show waiting to happen.)

If you have tips on how to perform this dance, the advice is appreciated!

When Will It Stop?

Friday I woke up and could not have been in a better mood. The sun was shining, I slept well, and it was Friday. I got to work and started my daily ritual of checking the news to see where the market was at and happened to notice this article on CNN.

What I read was not just the failure of this school district, but the American people as well. We live in a divided country, and anyone who tries to deny it just lying to themselves. Alive and well are many people who believe in racism, hate homosexuals, don't believe women deserve equal rights. And the less extreme version is half of Americans identify themselves as Republicans and the other half as Democrats (or at least vote that way). The problem with the last part? There are many people who are spewing hatred at each other. And our children are seeing this hateful behavior and viewing it as perfectly acceptable.

There are a good many people, both liberal and conservative who are spewing some sort of racism. Whether it's anti-black, anti-white, anti-Arabic, anti-Asian, or anti-Latino, there is always some sort of mean spirited thing being said. We live in a world where people who know me feel it is perfectly acceptable to spit out every single Asian joke at me. They hurl their jokes, insults, statements, and even propaganda at me. And then if I don't respond in a jolly way they act like I have an attitude problem. And these people are supposed to be my friends? If this kind of hatred and hurtful behavior is happening between groups of people that actually like each other, how much worse is it from people who don't care about each other? How much more harmful is it to an individual who has no friends, or the hateful words are coming from people who truly do hate them?

I think it's funny that a nation so proud of its melting pot and its "Christian" values lets so many get bullied, tortured, and attacked, verbally, emotionally, and physically. Before you say a negative thing about someone else's lifestyle remember this "Let he without sin cast the first stone." Are you completely without sin? Then worry about yourself and stop spewing hatred towards anyone else.

I often worry about my nephew growing up in this time of despair, of tolerated hatred, and wonder what he will be like when he grows up. Even if his parents (and I'm sure they will) do everything in their power to be positive influences on him, it's not as if he's living in a bubble. He interacts with people, meets people, and not all of these people will be good people. I hope that I get to live to see the day where children are not committing suicide because they feel like they are in a hopeless state of existence. Because to me, America is a place where there can be troubled times, and there can be hard times, but there should never be a time when children do not feel safe and able to be themselves. It is not as eloquent as Dr. King, but that's my dream.

Baggage Claim

I saw an amazing quote once on an AIM away message. And while I am skeptical of any away message wisdom, this one caught me off guard by its simplicity and its truth. "It doesn't matter if you've checked your baggage if you're still holding onto the claim ticket." I've done a lot of soul searching and questioning this past year and I think I finally understand humanity. Human beings are essentially a hurt pile of emotion looking for acceptance and validation wherever they will find it. And unfortunately we all still hold onto the hurt and rejection we've experienced over the years.

I know some will be skeptical of this viewpoint and say it's very pessimistic but I disagree with their claims of everything being wonderful and right. I look back at ALL of the fights I have had with my girlfriends, family, etc. and it all boils down to one thing, validation/acceptance.

My main problem when it comes to offending other people is that I expect everyone to know that they are always invited and always welcome. To me, friendship is about an all inclusive party where everyone can come together and enjoy the experience. There doesn't need to be RSVPs, emails, invitations (mind you I love to organize this way but just because you aren't on the email doesn't mean you are purposefully being excluded.) I have no problem with an extra friend or their friend coming along as long as there is enough time to plan out the important stuff i.e. reservations, food, tickets, etc. I also have no trouble asking if I may partake in an activity if I so choose to participate. I do need to realize that not everyone is as shameless and brazen as I can be.

What I've noticed to be the most hurtful thing in the world to people is exclusivity. You see people rearranging their entire lifestyles to be accepted to into the society they want to be a part of. Private school even if it costs you half your salary? You better believe if it will get Junior into the Ivy's many parents would stop at nothing to get it done. The problem with exclusivity in friendship is that it makes everyone around those two or three feel so inferior that they no longer wish to hang out with that clique. It doesn't matter the size of the group whether it's male, female or a combination of the two, the point is if you're creating this exclusivity you're making those around you feel insecure and unwanted. What does that matter to you? Those that you love and hang out with will make less and less effort to be around the exclusive group. You want to hang out with just each other? Fine because we're not going there. No one's self-esteem needs to take that big of a hit.

So my advice to anyone is that you may not realize it, but sometimes by creating little inside jokes and all other things we tend to do in close relationships can create tension. While it's fine to use your inside jokes when it's just the group with whom the inside joke belongs to, using them outside of that clique only serves to create insecurity, jealousy, and hurt.

Why Can't We Be Friends?

Yesterday I was watching Friends, one of my favorite television series, and it pained me that this scenario was pretty much impossible. Now I'm not talking about the great jobs, the great outfits or even the great apartments that they owned. What I'm referring to is the fact that guys and girls can be just friends.

I remember high school and my first year of college where I had equal guy friends and girl friends. It was refreshing! There was less cattiness and spending time with different groups of people with different interests kept things interesting.

My first year of college was at Colorado State University. And while I knew the college wasn't for me, they at least encouraged healthy opposite sex relationships. My sophomore year I moved to Minnesota to attend the University of St. Thomas. While it was a better fit for me academically and geographically speaking, it lacked something my public college had offered. At CSU I lived in the same hall, on the same floor, and even next door to guys. They saw us in our sweat pants, they saw us fight, they saw us sick and they saw us PMSing. It helped them understand females, and in all fairness, it helped us understand males. When I would get sick it wasn't my roommates or my suitemates that took care of me, it was Will and Todd, the two guys across the hall. They were both on the golf team and both transfers. They would periodically bring over otter pops, only the kinds I liked, already opened for me. Every time they went to the cafe they would bring up soup and crackers for me. They were great guys and I enjoyed my time with them. We discussed the weather, our hometowns, exes, it was an honest, healthy friendship. And I would say they were my favorite two people I met on that floor, just because I didn't expect to befriend them.

Fast forward a year and I'm at St. Thomas. I'm living in what alum call the virgin vault. When St. Thomas started it was an all boys school. When they finally allowed women to attend and live there, they were afraid for the women's safety. UST was one big frat house. To this day, men and women live in separate dorm halls. There are visitation hours. Even the two on campus apartments the floors are all boys or all girls. Which I never understood because there were a few handicapped males in wheelchairs who had to live on the second floor. In the case of a fire emergency that would make it difficult to get downstairs. But what do I know? In terms of male-female relations, I don't believe St. Thomas promoted healthy views of the opposite sex. Women went to class in high heels, short skirts, dressed to the nines with make up done like they were about to perform on Broadway. It was a totally different experience that I think was actually a negative experience.

I found it more difficult to make male friends, and the ones I did were in the Air Force, meaning after graduation I'd probably see them on the rare occasion they got to come back home. Men had this skewered idea of what women are really like, it was bizarre and in my opinion unhealthy. I guess my question is why is it a sin for men and women to live on the same floor, even next to each other?

I know UST thought that if they allowed men and women to live on the same floor there would be promiscious sex everywhere. From my experience, no one on our floor 'hooked up' without forming a real relationship. We all were friends, made easier by the fact that there was testosterone there to balance out the estrogen. There were cliques and groups but I could go into any single room and hang out and talk with any one on my floor at CSU and enjoy myself. And I know that everyone else felt the same way. Unfortunately, I'm afraid my experience at UST was very different and not for the better.

Money Isn't Everything

I am bad at money. I will not try and deny this simple fact. There are areas of my life which I believe I excel in, shopping is one of them. Managing my money? Not so much.

My father can and often will attest to this fact, I struggle with money management. I have a hard time living within my means, and he has bailed me out in the past, more times than I like to admit or he likes to give.

I am learning my lesson about spending wisely, saving more, and most importantly budgeting. And while I agree that knowing how to manage your money and save are important factors in life, I have found that money isn't everything.

Sure, money makes everything easier. Not worrying about the mortgage or the bills would be nice. And being able to escape reality with vacations is another plus. But to the dismay of my father I have spent my life learning about what money can't buy and what unfortunately does not get me paid in the end.

What I have learned in my 20+ years is that all the money in the world can't buy you loyalty or friendship. That money makes life easier, and without it life would be very different. However, the government provides assistance for people who have the misfortune of having no money, no skills, etc. There is no agency in the world that can provide you friendship and loyalty if you don't acquire the skills to attain those assets.

Last night my friend of 5 years, my first college friend to be exact, had a family emergency. She was experiencing something I have never had to deal with, and that most of us will never have to deal with. And while money will make that family breathe a little easier in terms of bills and mortgages and education and retirement; what she needed most was a friend. She needed someone to drive her to the hospital, to listen to her concerns, to tell her everything would be all right, and to hold her hand when it seemed it wasn't getting better. Money, would make her problems easier, but it wouldn't make her feel better. Only friendship could do that.

And so I know my father wishes I was better with my money, but I hope he can be proud of the fact that I've acquired skills to be a better person, better friend, better daughter, and one day a better wife.

So I'm sorry Dad, but I'd rather be a better friend than great with finances. And while I know one does not need to exclude the other, I'm glad I took the time to learn how to be a friend first. I have the rest of my life to learn about money.

Friends or Frenemies?

We've all done it. It's nothing to be proud of, and yet it's definitely something that is a part of life. We've hurt the ones we're supposedly closest to. We say hurtful things, we do harmful things, we say supposedly supportive things in a negative way. The question is, why do we do these things?

I've been on the receiving end as often as I've been the person doing the damage. And for the most part, the person who has hurt me the most I know I have probably hurt the most as well. This person is someone I would call a friend, and likewise. So why is it that we both treat each other this way? Why do I treat some of my 'enemies' better? I am honest and forthright about why I don't like certain individuals. Why can't I do that with all my friends?

I have a theory that not all good friends are supposed to become great, even best friends. That some people's personalities just don't work well together, that there will be certain people who claim to be there for us but will take a jab at us whenever the opportunity arises, and then we will do the same to them, and the cycle continues.

Do real friends hurt their friends on purpose? Or is this a sign that the two should not be friends at all? Could it be that there are unresolved issues, that the passive aggressive behavior stems from the lack of confrontation? Now confrontation seems so hostile, but it really derives from confronting an issue head on before it becomes a problem by being direct, honest, and open to change. That one actually cares about the outcome, the future, and wants to fix it rather than sweep it under a rug.

Confrontation is something that I would like to be better at, something that I think would allow me to have better relationships with every person in my life, my family, friends, etc. I was told it's a rite of passage in your 20's to learn how to confront situations and understand that it doesn't hurt people more, but rather the opposite. We all believe that telling someone that we don't like something about them is hurtful. But how much more hurtful is it to say cutting remarks to the person? Or talk about them behind their back? Or roll your eyes and sigh every time they do it? Worse yet, avoid spending time with them because that habit drives you up the wall?

My goal this year is to become more direct and honest about everything. I know at first some people are going to be hurt. And I do apologize for that, however, in the long run I think that having my thoughts, words and actions in allignment can only bring happiness and peace to me and hopefully those around me.