Happy Anniversary Designated Drivers!

21 years ago Harvard University and three of the major television networks launched the designated driver campaign.  May all of your holiday plans include a DD.

If you live in the Colorado area RTD is offering free bus rides, light rail rides starting at 7 pm Dec. 31st and ending the next morning.  If plan on spending time downtown please use the free transportation that they are providing, and have been providing for the past 19 years.

And in a related event the Colorado Congress is pushing for harder punishment on repeat drunk drivers.  The effort is being pushed through on both sides.  Hopefully this state, as well as every other state continues to make those who are wreckless and selfish pay for their crimes.

As always, have a Happy Holiday and enjoy the Blue Moon on New Year's Eve with a slice of orange. :)

Email Forwarders Be Warned!

My Dad called my Mom today - a CDOT employee may be terminated due to sending around an inappropriate email.  The email was a picture of President Barack Obama shining the shoes of Sarah Palin and the caption said "Looks like he finally found his niche."  There is an investigation that is going on as this email was forwarded at work, using work email, to fellow co-workers.  For more information please check this link. 

This is just a reminder to be mindful of emails you forward, my personal practice is to copy paste and send to my friends in my personal account - saving it as a draft and emailing it later.  Just remember that everything can be traced, and employment is at will.  Hopefully my Dad's former coworker learns her lesson & we all learn our lessons.

Fox Channels Gone?!?

According to the LA List Time Warner and Fox have not reached an agreement which could leave many viewers without Fox, and most importantly....GLEE.  Time Warner said they will probably do a temporary agreement, however Fox is asking for an unprecendented amount of money per viewer versus any other regular network.  If the deal goes through many of us might have to pay more money for cable.  Still unsure if this is just in the LA area or affects the entire U.S.  Click here for more details!

R.I.P

I haven't checked my Facebook that often of late. So imagine my surprise when I found out another friend & classmate from middle & high school had passed away. Since graduating in 2003 I have lost 3 classmates. 2 died in their sleep, 1 died in a car accident. I've known 2 of these boys since elementary school. I knew their parents, learned to spell with them, even got to mature into somewhat of an adult with them. They died too young, they never had the time to reach their potential as they were all amazing individuals. I know my story is universal; I know others my age & younger have lost classmates to suicide, heart conditions, partying too hard, winter weather driving, etc.

With the New Year just around the corner I ask that you do three things. One: Always get a DD. Two: Take care of your health. Three: Remember you are only promised this moment. You may not see tomorrow or next year. I hope we all live to be 100; but just remember even if you do time goes by so quickly. Follow your bliss; money can be made in almost every single industry & it's not the only definition of wealth. Forgive yourself & others; it only hurts you & not them. I see this first hand in my family right now so my New Year's Resolution is to forgive the one person who has hurt me the most - my brother & former best friend Colin. None of my relationships have been the same since 2005. Four years of hurt has made me less of who I truly am.

I hope you find a resolution that benefits you as well. Whether it be your health, happiness, or future I wish you well in pursuing it.

Say Thanks

Yesterday I was sitting waiting for my plane to board at Minneapolis/St. Paul and there was a man dressed in his formal Marine gear.  He just sat down.  I wanted to say thank you for the sacrifice he was making, the same sacrifice many of my friends are making; yet my feet stayed planted.  I know I'm usually pretty outgoing, but I almost felt silly for wanting to go over to him.  Like he had heard it a hundred times or he might think I was weird.  Then I lost my opportunity, his flight boarded and he got up and left. 

Today I was watching the news and saw that at the airport in Denver (DIA) there are really only two places to come from the concourses.  The walkway (which few people use unless they're going to Concourse A and know DIA well,) and the escalators from the train.  There is one of those line guides that keep people back from crowding those coming up from the train.  I was unaware yesterday that the individuals with signs of thanks and cheering for members of our armed forces weren't their family or friends.  They simply went to the airport, paid for the parking, made the signs and waited for them to come up from the train.  They started cheering and clapping and saying thanks.

I know that our country, friends, & family are split on the war in Iraq, the sending of troops to surge in Afghanistan; however, it's Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Festivus, etc.  I hope you have more courage than I did and say thank you to a soldier you see traveling this holiday season. 

Ugh! My UGGs smell!

I found a great little gem for all UGG wearers. Anderson Cleaners (they have several locations around the cities) cleans the inside and outside of your UGGs and promises to remove the smell. The service does cost $40 and takes two weeks but it is quite cool. If anyone uses this service let me know!

Denver Food

As the Holidays approach I start to think of all the wonderful food I will enjoy on my trip back home to Colorado. It's been since September 28, 2008 that I've been home, and as you can imagine there are several places which I miss. So here's my list of the 'best of' for my two homes, aka three cities. :) This will be a two part blog, as I will feature Denver first.

Denver:
Fast Food - My favorite fast food joint of all time is not really available in Minnesota. While I'm told there is one at the U of M student center I do not count it. Why you ask? Well one, it's not open when I need it to be, I cannot drive through, and there's only ONE. The best place to eat fast food in Colorado is Chick-Fil-A. Brought to us by the good people of Georgia, these Southern Baptists are not open on Sundays. They believe they should be able to run a profitable business 6 days a week. Let me tell you, it's tasty enough to do just that. Want some entertainment? Go to the fast food joint across the street and watch hundreds of people pull up and look through the windows looking to see if it's open. My favorite thing to get at Chick-Fil-A is the original sandwich no pickles. The criss-cut fries are perfectly salted and perfectly crunchy, not too much of either. If you have time to sit down inside an employee comes around and asks you if you'd like a refill on your soda. Another favorite at Chick-Fil-A are the chicken nuggets. If I sway from my sandwich I get the big pack of these little guys. Tender, juicy, they're just plain awesome.

Cookies - For those who have been blessed to live in NYC their entire lives they know the deliciousness of a Black & White cookie. It's not really a cookie, more of a cross between a cookie (in cookie shape) and a cake (cake texture.) It's the best of both worlds, the handling of a cookie and the tastiness of a cake. The frosting is split, 50/50, half black and half white. The Black frosting is more creamy, like you'd see on a cupcake. The White frosting is a little bit hardened, like you'd find on certain types of cookies. I use a fork and knife for mine, I get a little bit of each side. Why am I mentioning these cookies when discussing foods I love in Denver? Simple, there's a great little place called The New York Deli News. It's off of Hampden by I-25. My Great Aunt Anne moved from NYC and we brought her a Black & White cookie. She said they were so authentic she bought any family that visited a batch of them. They were delicious, and I plan on sneaking a few back on the plane. The place also has great Ruebans, but I don't like Rye Bread or Sauerkraut.

Hot Dogs - Now I know some people don't like hot dogs. Here's why, you're eating the wrong ones. What you need to be eating are quality all beef dogs. Now I don't have anything against Oscar Mayer or Ball Park, however, every time I've tried them I get a hard piece of unidentified white substance in my dog. I get disgusted and can't stand to eat another one. For pre-packaged dogs there are a few that are worthy of praise, the most accessible is Hebrew Nationals. Kosher means that only the front half of the cow body is used, no butts, no lips, no hooves. Kosher also means the cow is killed in a humane way, as opposed to many (not all) non-Kosher brands. For the best hot dog restaurant visit Mustard's Last Stand on University Ave right next to the Denver University campus. These are real Chicago style dogs. However, I get ketchup, onions & fake cheese on mine. The buns are flown in from Chicago, they have those seeds all over them and the dogs are thin and delicious. My Uncle Greg could probably eat 10 if he wasn't eating elsewhere. Otherwise he just requires two to three for a snack. To be honest, I can't blame him, they're so tasty, it's hard not to love them.

Pizza - I am sad to admit there is nothing in Denver that compares to Minneapolis/St. Paul when it comes to pizza. No Punch Pizza (hint hint, please build one!!), no Carbone's, no Cossetta's, no Homemade. Honestly, I eat so much pizza here because I know there's nothing like it back home.

Philly Cheese Steaks - There are a few places, my favorite was always Pat's right by the King Soopers off of Parker Road on the way to downtown Denver. Pat is from Philadelphia, and so when he moved to Denver he decided to open a Philly Cheese Steak place. Well he flies in his bread from Philly and he makes the best cheese steaks. I remember coming home from Minnesota and my Mom picking me up at the airport, and my Dad bringing me home a Philly Cheese Steak from Pat's. They had leftovers, but they knew how much I loved it. It was the cutest thing ever. I like mine without the green peppers.

Mexican Food - This isn't even really a fair comparison, because Colorado Mexican is better than Minnesota Mexican, from what I've experienced at least. In Colorado there are a few different types of Mexican cuisine. For a more coastal version of Mexican we visit Las Brisas - my Dad loves the guacamole they make at your table. For the hole in the wall, real authentic Mexican food we go to La Fogata. My Dad used to work across the street from this place. Everything is numbered, so unless you know Spanish, you just point. For delicious Mexican in more of a Chili's or Applebee's setting we go to Brewery Bar, the closest to use is Brewery Bar 4. My Mom & Dad love the Chile Relleno. For a more upscale version of Brewery Bar we frequent La Hacienda Colorado. Each restaurant has a different taste, but all are delicious. And unlike in MN, I eat Mexican food more frequently and haven't gotten food poisoning yet. Knock on wood.

Chinese Food - I have tried a LOT of Chinese food places in the cities. So far, there are places that have good appetizers and places that have good main dishes (we'll discuss those in the next blog.) None of them compare to the Chinese food back in Colorado. In Aurora there is this gem of a place that most of us know about. If it ever goes out of business I'll be shocked. It's called Paradise Asian Cafe. It's right off of Smoky Hill Rd. by E-470. Well what makes this so much better than any place in Minnesota? Well for starters it's super clean. Everything is nice looking, and it's family run. Then there's the lunch special. For under $8 you can get a meal, cup of soup, fried rice and a serving of an appetizer. I fancy the Sesame Chicken with their AMAZING Crab Cheese Wontons & Egg Drop Soup. I haven't EVER had Sesame Chicken as delicious as I have here. Every single time it's piping hot and fresh. The outside is crunchy, never soggy. And the chicken isn't questionable, it's all white meat and never chewy. That's not all they do well, my Dad always gets the Mongolian Beef and it's got quite the kick to it without losing the flavor. I could eat here all the time, and will definitely visit when I go back for the Holidays.

Korean Food - To be fair, I have yet to visit King's in Fridley, MN to compare, however there is a large Korean population in Aurora. There are several Korean restaurants and there is a Korean market set up close by as well. For a more intimate setting I like to visit Sila. For larger parties Korea House is required. Both are phenomenol. Korean Smokeless BBQ's are some of my favorite places. I always order the Kalbi or sometimes written Galbi. The meaning is the same, marinated short rib. If you have a few people eating they bring the meat out and you are in charge of cooking it. They bring out cups of rice and at least twenty different little side dishes. Different types of kimchi, pickled cucumber, bean sprouts, lots of different things. Lettuce to make your own lettuce wraps. I can never get enough Korean food. I know I may be biased, but it's my favorite type of Asian cuisine (which is a hard choice, as ALL Asian Cuisine is delicious!)

Ok, for those that think I'm being Colorado bias, my favorite Minneapolis/St. Paul places will be in next week's blog. If you're in Denver or Minneapolis/St. Paul and you have a favorite restaurant that I didn't mention or you want to let me know about it so I can blog about it. Thanks!

Holiday Recipes

Here's some super easy, super delicious snacks for the holiday season. No time to bake homemade cookies or try that new recipe for fudge? No problem, if you've got five to twenty minutes you've got a tasty treat :)

You only have five minutes, no problem.
You will need circle pretzels, Hershey's Hugs, and M&M's. Place parchment paper on the cookie sheet and set the oven to 250 degrees. Place the circle pretzels down and then put a Hershey Hug in the middle. Bake for 3 - 4 minutes or until the Hug is soft. Take out and press an M&M in the middle of the Hug. Place the tray in the freezer until hard. Take out and serve. There are several variations on this recipe, including regular pretzels, square pretzels, Hershey's Kiss instead of Hugs, use what suites your fancy. Try different things, different chocolates, multiple M&M's, sprinkles, etc. Just don't blame me if your pants don't fit after exploring all the options!!

You have ten to fifteen minutes, you want it to be a little bit more healthy....
You will need 5-6 Granny Smith apples, cored and cubed. One package of Cool Whip, and 3-4 LARGE Snickers bars cut into tiny pieces. I recommend adding more Snickers, but to each their own. Mix all ingredients together and chill. You get a serving of fruit, but it's still so delicious you'll have no trouble eating it all!

You have twenty minutes, and you want to impress.
Another little trick is to grab your favorite cookie dough and the miniature Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. You will also need small cupcake papers, smaller than the average sized cupcake but bigger than the size of the Reese's. Cook the cookie dough in the cupcake paper. As soon as the cookies are finished place an unwrapped Reese's Peanut Butter Cup down in the middle. Allow to cool.

I'm sure many of you could figure these out on your own, but I figured I'd post for those who don't. Have a wonderful holiday season, and enjoy!!

Oh Tiger...

It’s not like me to sit on the sidelines and not make a comment or two about anything to be honest. I’m opinionated, and I often voice that opinion. The good news is I’m opinionated about friends and foes alike, I’ll tell you what I think the team I like is doing wrong just as often as a team I could care less about. I discriminate against none when it comes to my opinion. I could hardly sit back and watch the Tiger Woods scandal pass by without an opinion, and thus I have come to mine.

Tiger, we all know, should be ashamed of himself. He cheated. He broke his vows, he lied, and he deceived. What he did was wrong, hurtful, and embarrassing. That being said there are two other culprits, okay maybe even three others that need to own up to their actions as well.

1 – The media. While I believe in freedom of the press, there is such a thing as decency. I believe the public has no business knowing things that destroy his marriage and can hurt his family. I’m sure Elin can handle it, but what about his children? Is nothing sacred? Does Tiger also have the right to privacy, and do his children and wife have the right to some respect? When I was learning about the Constitution I understood it as your freedoms end where mine begin; so her right to privacy has to be sacrificed for the freedom of the press? That doesn’t seem right, Tiger didn’t kill anyone, he didn’t commit purgery, didn’t steal millions of dollars from unsuspecting individuals. What he did is between him, Elin, and God.

2 – The women. I believe in a code, maybe it has long been forgotten but I still believe in it. I believe that no woman knowingly commits adultery with a married man, let alone a married man with children. I believe that women are supposed to have enough self-respect that they value themselves enough to respect other women and the sanctity of marriage. True, maybe Tiger would have found someone else to cheat with, but I wonder what would have happened if just one of these women would have said ‘Shame on you’ to him. I have personally never been cheated on, but I have known friends who have been. The hurt, betrayal, shame, and disrespect they feel is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. The fact that anyone would enable this to happen to a fellow sister, friend, mother, is beyond me. I think the women in this scandal are the most disgraceful. They knowingly broke up a marriage, knowingly hurt his children, and knowingly grabbed for fame when the scandal broke out. I hope if any good comes of this it will be women everywhere remembering the code, and remembering they never wish to hurt another woman like that ever again.

3 – The Public. I love my gossip mags just as everyone else does, but recently I have been reading them less and less. I don’t want to support Jon Gosselin making an idiot of himself by selling himself out to any media outlet that will have him. I won’t support the destruction of families by magazines constantly exploiting extra-marital affairs. True they are juicy, and true the individuals should have known better. But we as a public dictate what is given to us. If we all refused to buy any magazine that beated a dead horse cold on affairs, or break ups then maybe we wouldn’t have such a hungry papparazzi. The same papparazzi that gets physical with stars, gets involved in high speed chases that have ended lives, and virtually eliminates any moral values left in the media. Those individuals do need to own up to their actions, but we need to own up to ours as well. We cannot continue to allow the media to fill the airwaves, television sets and print with crap and then complain that our society has no morals.

One last thing: Parents, stop relying on the stars to be your children’s role models and be them yourself. Stop acting like a friend to your kids and start acting like a parent. Stop sitting home and reading US Weekly and watching E! and get off your butt and take your kids to volunteer at a Soup Kitchen or Habitat for Humanity. Keep your kids busy with good activities and maybe we wouldn’t have so much violence in our youth. Help others and maybe we wouldn’t need as much government assistance. Your parents would be ashamed of you.

Punch Pizza For A Cause

This Wednesday enjoy a free pizza for a good cause.

Bring in a food donation(s) for the Second Harvest food bank and get a free margherita pizza (or 5.95 off any other pizza)

Bring this coupon to any punch pizzeria - sorry take out will be limited at our small Highland Park store

http://www.flickr.com/photos/punch_pizza/4185981568/

Safety Precautions

A friend of mine recently returned to Brazil to travel, sight see and just live the Brazilian life. As many know, the Olympics in 2016 will be held in Brazil, and so I thought I should shed light on some violence that occurs down there, and well as remind people everywhere about safety.

Anne has been to Brazil before, she lived down there and speaks the language, she knows the area and is a pretty smart cookie. Anne was walking down a relatively safe street when a man approached her and told her to give him her cellular. Anne had a suitcase, her backpack and her cell phone; in her backpack was her very expensive laptop and other valuable items. Like instructed she threw the cell phone as far as she could and ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction towards the main street. She started screaming at the top of her lungs screaming help me and get away from me. Luckily two taxi drivers heard her and both went running after the culprit to get him away from her.

This happened just last night, Anne was walking in the afternoon, in the broad daylight. The reminder is this, while we all like to believe we are aware of our situation and in a safe part of town the reality is that you need to be prepared for anything. What Anne did, throwing her cell phone, was probably the thing that saved her and her possessions. We’ve all received the emails about locking our doors right away, not walking in garages by ourselves, and many other things; however, rarely has anything they’ve warned about happen to anyone we know. Not all of you know Anne, I realize that, but her experience makes me aware that those emails aren’t being sent out for fun. There is a reason that people warn others about how to escape, dangerous situations to avoid, and all together remind us of safety in all situations.

I hope if nothing else this posting will keep one person safe, even if they never run into confrontation. I hope that maybe they will prepare and act smartly about their life so they never need to use any techniques that those helpful emails instruct us about. And just in case you deleted your emails with the information, here is a copy of mine:

Because of recent abductions in daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...

This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know.

It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :
The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2.. Learned this from a tourist guide.
If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR , LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it . As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: Look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor , and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims
by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side... If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot.
This is especially true at NIGHT!

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted
his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.. The police told her
'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door..' The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. The Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America 's Most Wanted when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.

10. Water scam!
If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full ball so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

'Tis The Season

'Tis the season for spreading germs! I have had quite a few run ins with being sick this time of year, it's never fun. Here's a few tips for staying healthy this holiday season.

Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands. I just went to orientation at a Fairview Hospital for volunteering. The general rule is any time you touch something that sick people have been in contact with you wash your hands before and you wash your hands afterwards. Their instructions for hand washing is as follows:

Turn the faucet on, rinse hands & then pump out soap. Scrub your hands at least thirty seconds or the tune of the ABC's or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Clean in between fingers, under fingernails, and all the way past the wrist. To clean off the soap place finger tips together and facing down. Start rinsing at the wrist. The idea here is to wash germs off and not back up. Use papertowel to open doors if possible. I usually wipe my hands off and then take one all the way back to my office and then dispose of it.

Cover that cough!! When my parents' generation was younger they were told to cover their coughing with their hand. When I had bronchitis in high school the doctor told me the younger, hipper generation was being taught to cover their mouths with the inside of their elbow. Rarely does one shake elbows, and it is still easily accessible. I've noticed many people who have a cough that lingers do so because in my opinion they keep the germs so close by. Instead of coughing into your hand and then touching your keyboard, phone, keys, glass, pen, etc. cough into your elbow and keep your hands clean and germ free.

Curb your oral fixation!! I have a problem with biting my nails, nervous habit. Well, even though I love to bite my nails I have a rule, no biting my nails during the cold and flu season, no chewing on pen caps or anything else that places dirty, germy objects anywhere near my mouth.

Lysol Wipes - Use 'em! Whenever I get sick at work I usually take no more than a few days before I've completely recovered. My trick? The second I detect a cold or the swine coming on I follow the above rules and a few others to help me get over the germs faster. Here's the if you do get sick guide.

1 - Drink TONS of water. Avoid alcohol, avoid soda. Drink juices, drinks with electrolytes, and water. Stay hydrated.
2 - CONSTANTLY wash your hands, even after touching regular surfaces. Our office has alcohol based waterless gel soap (aka Purell) and I use it every time I am in the copy room.
3 - Wash your pillow case EVERY night. When I had the swine flu I slept on a different pillow case every night. I washed my sheets as often as possible. When I was done being sick I made sure to change out my sheets as well.
4 - Gargle Listerine. Once in the morning, once in the evening, once before bed. If you're home sick and can do this more often I'd suggest once an hour. Kill the germs.
5 - Do NOT share beverages. No this is not an anti-mono speech, but rather something way worse. A few years ago my entire family had to be given medication for bacterial meningicoccal. What's that you say? Well it's the worst form of bacterial meningitis. How did we come in contact with it? Well, my Aunt Becki forgot to get her yearly shot for said disease because she has a weakened immune system. Not only did she put herself at danger, but she could also have been carrying the disease to the rest of us. How? Well it's Christmas, people were tasting each other's drinks, etc. The doctors decided to aire on the side of caution. The moral of the story is, eat off of your fork, drink out of your glass. Just because someone 'feels fine' doesn't mean they aren't carrying some sort of illness.

Things Close to my Heart

This Holiday season with the economy in the crapper once again, there are things to brighten the soul, warm the heart and help others that make me smile. Here are few positive things that you could participate in, and help make someone else's life that much better.

As most people have heard, Xerox started a website called www.letssaythanks.com it's a simple idea that shows a tocken of appreciation to those serving in our military this holiday season. Those who are apart from their families in the God awful desert. Xerox allows you to pick a card, write a message and they will print and deliver it to a soldier. You can't pick which soldier they deliver it to, but it is an opportunity to send thanks. Regardless of your feelings of war, ALL Americans should be able to get behind our troops. Sacrifice is always hard, but sacrifice during the holiday season is just a bit tougher. I hope everyone takes advantage of this site, it's simple, free, and can share the warmth.

One of my favorite things in the holiday season is Toys for Tots. I know several people who have 'adopted' a family, and my family has done that in the past as well. However, be forewarned that not all people are people who are living in dire situations. My sister and her husband did this last year and the people they bought presents for had flat panel televisions, were living in a nice house, and had nicer stuff than they had. Talk about a rip off. While I understand that maybe they are living outside their means and still needed presents for their children, it's like downsize first before you ask for a handout. Way to ruin the holiday spirit. That being said our family adopted a family and they were really in need. It's just kind of a crapshoot. Hence why I like to participate in Toys for Tots. Our office has held potlucks throughout the year to raise money for Toys for Tots and we also have a toy drive during the holiday season to donate to the cause. I think that even $5 helps. There are many toys that can be purchased on sale that would mean the difference to a lot of people. I know from doing research last year that the need is up and the donations are down. There are many places collecting toys, such as Toys R Us; who also donate $1 per facebook fan they have on their page to Toys for Tots. Looking to go out this year? Well many holiday parties are being held with 'cover charge' being a toy for this campaign, or the actual money being donated directly to Toys for Tots. There was even a party last year that the entry was $30, but the space, food, and drinks were donated by local companies. What a great way to spend a night, eating great food in a great space for a great cause. Too busy to go out drinking because you have kids of your own? Donate at the pre-approved locations or visit www.toysfortots.com

Something that has been going on for the past 14 years is the Miracle on 19th Street in Denver Colorado. Rock Bottom Restaurant Inc. and local Denver business donate their time, money, and space to feed the homeless and hungry on Christmas. Then they ask volunteers to help do everything from set up to tear down. Surprisingly, they are always full and you have to sign up ASAP if you are interested. This year they are already full, donations are still welcome. In addition to this Christmas feeding Rock Bottom Restaurants Inc. also hold one for Thanksgiving in several cities, including Minneapolis. It's nice to see restaurants give back, and next time I plan on signing up early so I can help out. For more information check out www.rockbottomrestaurantsinc.com

Another wonderful act going on this year is the teaming up of Kare 11 & Land o' Lakes donating $1 per click to local food shelves. http://www.landolakesinc.com/company/corporateresponsibility/foundation/ Simply click on the link, and then click on the green area that says 'You click, we donate. It's that easy.' The money goes towards food shelves to help the hungry and the homeless this holiday season.

Make sure to watch television ads as some stores offer huge discounts for donated coats or free/reduced admission with canned food items. A little bit of thought & planning can help save your family money & help those in need as well.

As always, volunteering can help cut the cost of any organization. I am going to start volunteering at Fairview Southdale (pending the result of my second TB test) to help out. If we all give a little, maybe there wouldn't be such a need for government programs and spending. And that's something we can all cheer about.

Diamonds WERE a Girl's Best Friend

I dislike the saying "Diamonds are a girl's best friend". While I appreciate and covet diamonds I'd hardly call them a friend let alone a best friend. Friendship is supposed to be based on wonderful qualities like supportiveness, caring for one another, trust, fun, etc.

So why is it that girls get stuck with diamonds? While pretty to look at and wonderful to have it paints the picture that women care more about status, material goods and shallow relationships. How do you deduce this you might ask. Well I'd tell you that a diamond can't hold you hair after too many drinks because your one true love left you for another woman. And diamonds can't call you to tell you their juicy gossip or big news. But more importantly because diamonds can't love you back.

Men are lucky, they get dogs as their best friend. Now you may say well Courtney dogs can't hold your hair or gossip with you and to that I have an answer. Every dog owner I know has had a horrible thing happen to them at least once. And most will cry and reject the comfort of any friend. Nearly every dog owner I know tells me their pet came to their side and put their head on their lap and just stayed there.

It may not be holding back hair but it is full and unconditional support. I've had pets protect me when scared, comfort me when sick and love me when sad. No questions asked and never an eye rolled. Never wondering if they wish they were somewhere else or that I wasn't being so pathetic. Just true, non-judging unconditional love. Sure beats a diamond out any day of the week to me.

I have a theory; most dog owners agree with it but we may be biased. My theory is that as many people before me have stated the Dog is God spelt backwards; a reflection of God. This may be lofty but I truly believe a dog's love for his or her owner is similar to God's love for us.

Hold up you say. How dare I compare one of God's creatures to him and it not be a human. I get it, I respect it, but from what I have been taught about God's love it is more similar to a dog's love than it will ever be to ours.

God's love is unconditional. So is our parents you say. True, parents have every intention of loving us unconditionally. But as with any human relationship there will be hurt, lies and even betrayal in their lives, our lives and even our relationships. Even though our parents try to love us no matter what it is never as perfect as God's. We say mean and hurtful things or do things and that love shifts slightly. Wow I sound like love is awful. But it's not. Human love is complicated, requires work and is far from perfect.

Now let's talk about God's love. God's love is simple. He loves us despite our sins, because we all sin. He loves us when we hurt him, deny him, etc. He loves us all the same, even though we are unworthy of that love. God's love just is. Never faltering, always forgiving; it is completely different from human love.

Dogs are more like God than most people think. To paraphrase Marley & Me a dog doesn't care if you are a brain surgeon or a carpet salesman. Dogs don't care if they have the latest and greatest toys, leashes, bowls, bed, etc. They get excited when you come home or rub their belly. They get excited to go on walks or in the car. Most like when you throw their ball. Doesn't sound materialistic or greedy at all. You can yell at a dog for misbehaving and the very next day it still gets just as excited when you walk in the door from work.

Dogs love just is. They love us despite the fact tht we've gained five pounds or hog the remote. They love us even if we snore or talk too much. They don't mind our embarrassing jokes or bad humor. They'll watch our chick flicks and let us dress them up in hideous clothing or paint their nails. Dogs are easy going. Love for a dog is simple. They just do it. They don't know how not to love us unconditionally. Just like God.

Emergency Supplies

It's officially winter & I've been thinking about what 'Emergency Supplies' I need for my car & remembered that I kind of keep the same stash at work. So here's my lists of things to keep in your car & at your office for those moments that you might need them.


Car
Sweat Pants - Sometimes I wear skirts or dresses to work. If I ever get stuck somewhere & it's -40 degrees outside these are key.


Blanket - Because sometimes sweatpants, jackets & boots still won't keep you warm enough.


Socks & Boots - Heels are not the most efficient way to go to &  from work. Most days I wear my Uggs to work & back from work. Some days I forget & thus I keep some winter boots & thick winter socks in my car.


Heavy Winter Jacket - I bought a really nice down jacket from Abercrombie & Fitch last year. It was on clearance (rare for them I know) & I keep it in the trunk of my car. I usually take a jacket to & from work anyways, but if it's super cold & I need to layer this is great.


Flashlight - Just in case your car battery dies & it's dark, you can then see.


Book - Again, if you're stuck for a long time it passes the time. Other great ideas include Sudoku books or Crossword books but remember to pack a pen or pencil!


Contact Solution & Contact Case - Even if I don't bring my glasses with me, if I have to spend a lot of time waiting & my eyes are irritating me it will feel even longer.


Snacks - Couple of granola bars (I replace these often, whenever they have a month left before going bad I put new ones in & take these to work), bag of chips, & a few bottles of water.


Baby Wipes - I keep a few sample baby wipes in my car. I also have Purell with me, however if you need to wipe something off Purell does jack crap for you. This way you don't have to wipe it on your clothes or your car.


Phone Charger - Make sure you keep on in case your phone is about to die.


Ice Scrapper - Seems natural right? Well I'm talking about a spare one. Whenever schools hand them out I grab one or five. I keep them in my car as an emergency & even more important in case someone needs one I can just give them one.


Medicine - I'm not telling you to pack a pharmacy, but it might be a good idea to keep a spare Advil or Tylonel sample or five in your glove box. Being stuck in the cold with no room & no pain meds is never fun.


Gum - How long are you stuck? Do you really want smelly breath when someone comes to help you out? Gross.


Windshield Wiper Fluid - I now carry at least 1.5 bottles of windshield wiper fluid and 0.5 bottles of Anti-freeze. My Dad wishes I would have done this last winter when he was driving.


Gas Gallon - Ever run out of gas? Well I have so I keep the thing you bring to a gas station in my trunk. Hopefully it will never happen again, but it has happened to me. Ironically I was actually on my way to get gas that very second.







Cash - My Mom & Dad always have emergency cash hidden everywhere. In their wallets, in their car, etc. They pretend they don't have it unless they've spent all their cash & they realize they forgot their credit card at home or something. They keep one underneath the visor held in place by the garage door opener. My Mom tucks fives, tens, & twenties in places in her wallet. It's a good practice to get into just in case. I keep a spare ten hidden somewhere in my car. I've emailed myself the location just in case I forget (I have a habbit of placing things and then forgettting where I put them.)


I'm sure nothing on this list comes as a surprise to anyone, they are all relatively simple. However, the workplace offers some interesting situations for which I have prepared this list for.


There have been many times when I was caught unprepared and even surprised at the items I would need. So for any first time employees this might be a good list to take note of.


Snacks - You'd be surprised how often you will get hungry between breakfast & lunch. I keep granola bars at my office if I am running late and need to eat breakfast. Fruit snacks and mini bags of microwaveable popcorn are for my snacks. I even keep an extra thing of soup or two in my cupboard in case I forgot to pack a lunch. We have a freezer in our breakroom & I usually steal the bottom drawer for whenever Lean Pockets or Lean Cuisines are on sale and just stuff them in there. Many coworkers have 'borrowed' one from me & then bought me a meal in return. Well worth the investment!


Contact Solution, contact case & Saline - You'd be surprised how many coworkers have asked me for eye drops, contact solution etc. I always come prepared. Whenever my bottle at home is on the emptier side I bring it to work. There's not a lot left in there but I rarely use enough between bottles so it's the perfect amount. If something gets in my eye I can bring my solution to the bathroom, wash my hands & rinse it off. This has saved my eyes more times than I thought.


Lysol Wipes - Someone in your office is sick. Better start dysinfecting. I dysinfect my entire phone (especially the mouthpiece & the buttons) my keyboard, my mouse, stapler, & any handles that I may touch.


Purell or Alcohol Dysinfectant - My office is a great deal away from the bathroom or kitchen sink. I can't get up and wash my hands every single time I cough or sneeze. This helps minimize my sick days.


Advil/Tylonel - There's a first aid kit with Aspirin in the kitchen that has been there since who knows when. I always like to have some handy in case of headaches, cramps, etc.


Allergy Meds - The dust in an office building is more than you think. Seasonal allergies can have me sneezing a ton. We keep a pack of Claritin 24 & I just take one in the morning when my allergies are bad.


Personal Products - I keep female products in my desk drawer in case I'm caught off guard. I keep perfume, breath mints, bronzer, chapstick, lotion, facial lotion, hairspray, hair ties, bobby pins, etc. in case I'm running late and look like a mess. Can't have clients walking in and looking like a homeless person now can we? My boss even keeps mouthwash & a toothbrush with toothpaste in his drawer.


Car Key - I always keep a spare car key in my desk drawer. We can lock our drawers so I know it's kept safely. Just in case I lock myself out my boss can drive my key over to me if need be. It's funny that I haven't had to use it yet, I think that's because I have it, if I didn't I would undoubtedly have a problem.


Heels - I keep a set of black heels at work. If I am going to wear a different color I bring them with, otherwise I can just wear flip flops, ballerina flats or Uggs back to my place. Having to walk to find my car on street parking is not as quick when in heels. To assure I won't forget them I just leave them here.


Stockings & Trouser Socks - I leave a new pair of each here in case I get a run in my stockings or forgot trouser socks when I am coming to work.


Tide To Go Stick - This is a great help for getting some stains out, other stains I wouldn't recommend it on.


So here's my list of things you may need. I hope it helps someone in some way. Besides, you never know when that cute coworker might invite you out for Happy Hour and you have no time between work & HH to freshen up.

The Art of Social Media

It's a delicate line between being out there & available in social media and being OUT THERE in social media. In age where we can access conversations between friends (Facebook), pictures of the President in intimate meetings (Flickr), and just about every schmuck has a blog, a twitter, and a facebook profile, where is the line drawn between respectable and harmful to one's professional and personal reputation?




As we should have learned from Watergate scandal one should never keep or allow anyone to record or keep any 'evidence' of information they would not want aired out in front of others. We've all learned this lesson, yet we continue to allow others to obtain our dirty laundry. Take Josh Duhamel for example. He supposedly had an affair with another woman, he denies it. However, the woman has text messages to prove their relations, dirty text messages, known to those hip cool people as sexting. There's no faking those messages, because even if he never sent them and she planted them in there, what was she doing with his phone?? How about Tiger Woods? He is up a foul smelling creek without a paddle. His biggest mistake was probably leaving evidence via voicemail. Speculation is hard to prove, but leaving evidence that you know will get turned over to the papparazzi, that's asking for trouble.


Here are some words of wisdom from my Father regarding Twitter, Facebook, & Blogs:
- NEVER complain about work. Current employers can find it, future employers can find it. It makes you seem difficult to work with, and in this economy it makes you seem ungrateful.
- Everything can be cached, just because you delete it doesn't mean it's gone.
- Public access to your Twitter and Blog mean your Grandma or your employer could be reading.
- Private access isn't really private, employers can ask for access and are given it, my father has done it when researching candidates for job positions.
- Delete any picture of you holding a beer bottle, red solo cup, or looking intoxicated, privacy means nothing. I now make it a common practice to ask everyone in the picture to put down their drink. Even if we're at a restaurant (not a rager) I find it inappropriate to put up pictures in my office if there is alcohol present.

A friend once told me, when it comes to social media and casual hook ups "don't discuss anything heavy." If you do discuss such topics tread lightly. While freedom of speech still exists today, most employment is at will. Meaning they can terminate you at any point for any reason. Discussing the health care bill? I like to do so all the time. However, bashing of any side is unnecessary. Encouraging others to read articles you find - approved. I highly encourage you to read the opposing sides articles as well, if they suggest it, you should know it.

In essence, save your deepest, most personal thoughts for those that have earned your trust and respect. Or, follow in the steps of President Barack Obama or Senator John McCain when it comes to social media. Both politicians 'tweet' if you will, but they discuss politics, send well-wishes and refrain from most personal things. Although, Senator McCain did let us know he recently purchased an iPhone. However, I'd hardly say that poses a political problem for him in the future by releasing that information. All in all just make sure if your Grandma reads it, she won't have a heartattack from your posts. Keep it clean, keep it smart. Happy blogging, tweeting, & facebooking.

Day of Infamy

When does a tragedy lose its meaning? Is it when those who suffered its horror have passed or when a society as unaffected as ours simply forgets? December 7th, 1941. A day that our President proclaimed would live in infamy. 68 years later we seem to live in a society that has kind of forgotten. April 19, 1993. Waco Texas. The seige that fueld the Oklahoma City bombing. One of the worst American terrorist acts on American soil. April 19, 1995. Oklahoma Federal building is blown up in broad daylight. Innocent government workers & children are killed. The two culprits are tried in Denver and are sentenced to death. April 20, 1999. A day that parents & school kids alike watched in horror. Schools change their entire safety procedures. The country wakes up to the violence that is our children. Less than a few years later kids joke about getting high on 4/20, forgetting entirely it's the same day as Columbine. September 11, 2001. An entire country vowed to stand behind our President in the search for Osama Bin Laden. Changing Presidents (and parties) does not make this void, we still have a responsibility to ourselves to find this thug. August 29, 2005. A Category 3 Storm devastates much of the Southern region of our country. Aid takes days, yet our news crews make it down before the storm even hits. Reports for replacing the levie are ignored. Footage makes the storm-torn South look like a third world country. April 16, 2007. College students (who were middle & high school students during Columbine) watch in shock as Virginia Tech students are killed. College campuses realize that they too should have changed their emergency policies back in 1999 as primary education facilities did. August 1, 2007. A day we promised we would put more money into our infastructure to prevent unnecessary deaths like the I-35W bridge collapse. The entirity of the 2008 campaigns all but one politician wanted to remove the gas tax, money that goes directly towards funding roads, repairing bridges, etc.


How long does it take? A week, a month, a year? I still remember where I was when we heard about the Oklahoma City bombing. I was 11 and we were going on a field trip. My mom was chaperoning and we heard about it. She told me about what happened at Waco two years earlier. Before the trial began in Denver we stood outside the courthouse waiting for the light rail after a Rockies game. I remember thinking this is where justice will finally be served.


I watched Hurricane Katrina with my Mom & Dad, itching to get back to Minnesota so that the clubs & groups I belonged to could move into action. Friends of mine went down to New Orleans the years following to help clean up. I distinctly remember Anderson Cooper of CNN ruin his Prada shoes on television while reporting on Katrina. Aid hadn't come until three or four days later.


September 11. I sat in the cafeteria when our principal announced that terrorists had attacked. I ran home and watched for a few minutes with my brother before returning to school. We were asked to continue our day as if nothing happened. A few of our teachers let us watch. You have to watch history happen, even with all the technology we have there is something so important about feeling the way you feel at the exact same time that everyone else in your country is feeling it. It makes you feel less alone, less isolated, less individual and more unified. Makes you feel connected with your fellow Americans. that year Grandview Leaders Against Destructive Decisions sold firefighter gloves for students to decorate. We then presented them to one of the fire stations in NYC that was on the scene.


The I-35 bridge. I was working at Club Monaco and someone came in and told us. We had no clue, we went back and turned on the computer and watched the live footage. Many of our shoppers did not know either, and we informed everyone that came in. It was definitely surreal watching the bridge collapse when we were but 10 minutes from it.


Columbine - I remember coming back from French class in the 'trailers' and being locked out along with my other classmates. We had to walk around the building and go through the main doors. We were told nothing and sent home. I went to my friend Kayla's house and we were online when told about the shootings from a boy in a chatroom. We turned on the television and watched in horror. My Dad worked with two parents who lost children in Columbine. Shortly after they told me when they moved here in 1986, they almost moved to Littleton. That I would have gone to Columbine the next year had they not choosen to live in Aurora and send me to CCSD. We went to the memorial site a few days after my Mom and I bought the 'Columbine, Friend of Mine' cd. I played it the entire way there and the entire way back. The crosses were sad, but the moment that hit me the most was looking back and seeing the cafeteria & library. Eerily simiilar to the high school I would attend the next year. I kept seeing the kid who fell out the window replay in my mind.


Fast forward to July 2008. Annual Meeting at Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I work for Northwestern Mutual, I'm an assistant to two reps. I look over the schedule, notice someone is speaking about Columbine. I ask to attend, ask my co-workers if they will attend. Two other assistants say no, they don't want to cry and go check their emails instead. I'm shocked. I go and I sit next to my boss, knowing I'm going to cry, just as I cry every time I watch a special on Columbine. The young man that comes out is Patrick Ireland. For those who do not remember, Patrick is the boy who was shot in the head & the foot and miraculously made it to the window before falling into the arms of the rescue workers. It is that scene that has stuck with me my entire adult life. Well Patrick came out and began to tell his story, and I can still remember every emotion, every feeling I did 9 years ago. I know my memory is not as fresh as Patrick's, how could it be? But I do know that it is more detailed and emotional than almost any other person in that auditorium. Is that what makes a tragedy stick longer? Because you were somehow affected by it in a way other than the television? Is it the humanization of the awful tragedy that makes it stick that much longer?


My Uncle told me a story once. He was out West on some business and his co-worker had rented the car. They were driving along and they accidentally rear-ended another car. Damage was minor. My Uncle's co-worker was extremely apologetic to the man. The man was from the Middle East and was very angry looking. My Uncle tells me his co-worker called the rental place to see if a claim was ever mad. None they tell him. Weird he thinks. Fast forward a few months and September 11 happens. The pictures of each terrorist is in the paper. My Uncle and his co-worker are in shock. The man they rear-ended was none other than the ringleader of the 9/11 tragedies. Had they known they brushed by evil that day? I'm almost positive that they keep the 9/11 memory more fresh than myself, who simply watched in disbelief as the tragedy unfolded.


I know that if you are in a tragedy and survive it will stay with you forever. But what about those who did not endure it, and yet cannot let it go either? What about those who had some small interaction pre or post that makes it stick that much longer?


I hope we all take a moment to remember those lost today in Pearl Harbor. May their lives not be in vain. May we all live and enjoy the freedoms we do with rememberance to their sacrifice. Let us also remember the sacrifice of all who have served and are currently serving in our armed forces.

WCCO & Kare 11

Recently WCCO has included my nephew and my friend in their broadcasts. I couldn't be more proud of them! Here are links to their segments, be sure to check them out.

My nephew Brady James Beckham:

Brady's Birthday Party

My friend Lindsay Hilger:
On tv:
Good Question
And her press release:
St. Paul Outdoor Rinks


And another press release she made featured on Kare 11:
Officially Joe Mauer Day





Anytime someone I care about is in the news you'll see it on here!

Pizza! Pizza!

I love a good pizza, and in Minneapolis/St. Paul there are a few great spots. If you've ever read my blog before you'll notice I'm always talking about Punch Pizza. I love getting a Napoli pizza with Proscuitto and Mozzerella di Bufala. They even put Olive Oil underneath so it's super good to dip your crust in. For thin crust pizza another great place is Carbone's in St. Paul. Now there is a chain of Carbone's elsewhere, but this was the original. The others are really quite tasty, but none compare to this place. It's a very thin pizza with toppings all the way to the end, possibly 1 cm crust. It's always super delicious. I always get the large pepperoni, extra cheese, onions & garlic. I save half the pizza and eat it the next day (reheat via oven, or put in frying pan with a little bit of water on stove.) For a good classic pizza Cossetta's in Downtown St. Paul has some amazing pizza with regular crust. We used to get one every Tuesday, as my former roommate's family owned the place. However, if I go to Cossetta's I have a hard time straying from the Mostaccioli with a meatball and garlic bread. It's just so darn good!

For the best take and bake pizza I used to say Papa Murphy's. And while they are delicious, there's something that's just better. Those in the Chicago, Washington D.C. or Minneapolis areas are privy to all natural HomeMade Pizza. Started out in Chicago it took them 2 years to perfect their crust! I had never heard of them (even though they were apparently on Oprah) so when I got invited to their 'Friends & Family' event I decided to try it out. We were given samples of pizzas (all delicious) and then also given a free medium pizza and large salad. Now when I say this pizza is divine I mean it. The crust is the perfect amount of bubbly, crunchy goodness. It has good form, it won't flop all over the place but it isn't hard to bite into either. The cheese stretches out and you can taste that it's actually good cheese, not what you would find on Pizza Hut or Papa John's or Domino's.

Even more attractive is their customer loyalty card. Buy any 9 pizzas and get the 10th free. Buy any 9 salads and get the 10th free. Want more? Well Monday thru Wednesday you buy any medium or large pizza and get a medium salad and dessert (take and bake cookie or their AMAZING ice cream) for just $5. While their pizzas are more expensive than Papa Murphy's, the benefit is that I can make this meal last longer. Their pizza actually tastes good leftover, unlike Papa Murphy's. I usually take the salad to work and eat half one day and the other half the next day. I get the Cobb Salad; they pack bacon, eggs, cherry tomatos, fresh avocados, bleu cheese crumbles, hard boiled eggs, chives & hearts of romaine lettuce in there plus your choice of dressing. I like it with the caesar.

For dessert I'm sure they have great flavors of ice cream and the cookies are probably superb. However, I tried the Mint Chocolate Chip one time and can't stop getting that. I don't like the green kind of ice cream, it never tastes as good as the natural white ice cream. For a long time I've gotten Bryer's, and theirs is delicious. However, I noticed they have made their containers smaller and kept the price the same if not higher than when I was younger. So, instead I just get a free ice cream with my salad. I did this last night and I will have gotten 5 meals out of this plus dessert. Not bad in this economy, if I do say so myself!

To find out more about all their pizzas and salads check out their website.

Expiration Date

The easiest way to tell who your true friends are is by putting an expiration date of sorts on said friendship, or at least the convenience of that friendship. When people know that you may not be there in a few months, you may notice that some don't believe your friendship is worth the investment. Your true friends, however, will continue to spend time with you, keeping you around even if you may be less available to 'hang out' in the coming months, years, etc.

True friendship can survive many things, one of which is distance, another is romance, and the most important is probably growth. Distance is probably the easiest to overcome, a call here and there, a postcard, birthday card, etc. Not a lot of effort is needed to keep a long distance friendship in tact. Pre-moving is much more difficult. People can feel jealous you are moving on with your life, or saddened that you are leaving, or sometimes they just have a 'Come to Jesus' moment and realize maybe they weren't that great of friends with you in the first place, but it was convenient while you were here.

Romance doesn't have to be difficult, but the challenges you can face when you or your friend starts dating someone depend entirely on a) you b) them c) your relationship with them d) their relationship with their romantic partner. Good friends are happy for their friends if they are in a positive relationship. Good friends are still able to balance their love life and their friends in a way that treats both parties with respect. As long as the relationship with your friend is based on trust, respect, etc. there should be no problems in the future unless that person has a negative relationship with their romantic partner.

The best way to 'be there' for your friend is to do just that. I've learned from Sex and the City that romantic advice is the worst kind of advice you can offer. Your friend had a horrible fight wth her boyfriend, she's hurt, she's crying, she's pissed. She says he did x, y, & z and you say he's a bastard. Less than a week later they're back together, she's in love and can't live without him. Now you're the bitch. Better to just be there as a springboard for her to vent than to offer any romantic advice. While it might be a 'cop out' you have to remember that this is probably still in the heat of the moment. Your friend is angry and hurt and not thinking rationally. Even if what the guy did was awful, it's always exaggerated a thousand times when there hasn't been any time to think, breathe and just be. In addition, it's my opinion that when guys do shitty things but their girlfriend usually rolls over and lets them get away with it they already have the skill set to talk their way back into their hearts and out of the dog house.

Personal growth is the hardest obstacle to overcome in friendship. Ok, I lied, your friend sleeping with your boyfriend/fiance/husband or father is probably the hardest thing to overcome right up there with your friend murdering a member of your family or robbing you. So it's not the hardest thing to overcome, but it's the hardest thing to overcome that 99% of us will face. The others can sort their stories out on Maury.

The reason I believe personal growth is one of the harder obstacles to overcome, is because it pushes to the forefront any underlying issues that exist. I'm not saying a friend can't be happy for another friend. I'm saying that personal growth is probably the best way to distinguish friends from frenemies. While it is normal to feel a slight pang of jealousy when another succeeds in life. What's not normal is sabotaging or diminishing your friends. I can honestly say I have been a frenemy to as many times as I have been on the receiving end. I can also say with my real friendships there's nothing but joy for my friend's successes. It's the people who treat me poorly that I in turn end up treating poorly. I'm not saying that's any justification for my behavior but that it's not hard to behave well when relationships are genuine.

True friendship can survive almost everything. Genuine relationships can bring out the best in us not the worst. Letting go of bad relationships isn't about admitting defeat or even about not caring about the other person. Letting go is about choosing to love yourself, choosing to engage in respectful, beneficial relationships only. Sometimes there is just too much damage, too much hurt & more than likely too filled with poor behavior & patterns.

- XoXo Courtney

No Offense

I hate this phrase more than any other phrase in the world. This phrase isn't vulgar, it's not derogatory, there's no stereotypes or prejudice in it. It's two words that offend me more than anything else and here's why.

The phrase: No Offense.

I have found that if you are saying something that isn't offensive, then you will never need to say no offense. And if you are saying something offensive and you say this, it's the biggest cop out of all time. It's saying something hurtful but not owning up to it, stirring the pot without offering suggestion. This single phrase allows people to speak their mind and hurt others without taking responsibility for their words. You say something hurtful, mean, offensive. But, you say no offense at the end of the sentence. Now you're just stating something but you don't mean any harm by it, even if it's harmful. So you don't have to take responsibility for those words, in other words that person can't get upset with you for hurting them. Now what you've done here is hurt someone but remove yourself from the blame and put it squarely on that person. If they get upset they're being irrational because you clearly stated that there was no malice in you saying this. But that's not entirely true, this statement alone has let you wash the blood from your hands but you're still the culprit. You've done the damage but come off innocent and even the victim if confrontation arises afterwards because you cleared yourself by stating that you were offering up an observation or a fact, not an opinion, not an accusation - claiming nothing on yourself.

Now I have been struggling with a person who ALWAYS clears themselves of blame and states no offense all the time. They always end up looking like the good guy and that they don't do anything hurtful. Unfortunately that's not the case. This type of person is the biggest coward. They say what they want without having to deal with any repercussions. In my opinion they have no backbone, they have no character and they are basically weak.....No offense.


- XoXo Courtney