You Live, You Learn

One of my favorite quotes is: "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you appreciate them when they’re right...and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe. That Norma Jean sure knew a thing or two. The truth of life is this: Life is hard, not everything happens the way it's supposed to. Yes it's unfair, yes it's difficult, and yes sometimes it does suck. But there are those few shining moments, when the good guy gets the girl, the villian gets caught, and the little guy catches the break. Those breaks aren't given, they're earned. The sooner you understand that the sooner you can find happiness. Stop being the victim of your own life and start playing leading lady (or gentleman for that matter!)

Nothing is ever 'all your fault', that being said nothing is ever 'all their fault'. Every bad situation we have been in there is a lesson to be learned, a thing to gain, and a gut check to listen to next time around. Saying you got 'screwed over' isn't just a testimony of what the other person did to you, but also a confession that 'Yes, I got duped and I should have known better.' With the recent 'duping' I just mistakeningly allowed myself to get caught in, it reminds me of the 'duping' one year previous that I told myself I would learn from. These two lessons will cost me about five thousand dollars when all is said and done. And while the current lesson is about $450 of that $5,000 - the principle is the same. Trust yourself, check your gut, and remember people are self-serving.

If I am going to be the kick-butt person I always told myself I would be then it starts with me. It starts with the people I keep in my life; the way I treat them and the way I allow them to treat me. It starts with the understanding that it takes just as much work to be happy as it does to be miserable. It starts but it never ends, this is a process that isn't a quick fad diet for the soul, this is a life long decision to understand that similar to what you put in your body has long term effects on your health, so does who you allow to share your time with or give your energy to.

I've gotten screwed over by everyone from family to acquaintances. The one common factor is me. The only way not to get screwed over, is to screw people over first. KIDDING. The only way to not get screwed over, is to not accept less than you deserve. I've been a doormat to those I love, giving away of myself so willingly, giving my time, my energy, my compassion that I found myself at 25 years old out of love. I had slowly given a piece of myself to anyone who wanted it, always wanting something in return but never receiving it.

It took me 25 years to understand that giving a person something doesn't mean they are indebted to you. Taking care of a friend who just expects it and refuses to reciprocate wasn't their fault, it was my own. I had allowed this toxic human to come in and use me. I had given my time to them and let them treat me badly and never give me anything in return. I had let his person make fun of me in front of my own family because I had made excuses for their bad behavior. It's not her fault, her parents are distant and she was just suicidal last week, I should be a better best friend to her. To be honest, it wasn't her fault. I let this so-called friend treat me like crap and still gave. Now she attacks me on Twitter and thinks she has her life figured out. How the heck do I know if she does or doesn't? I have no malice or ill-will towards her, but given her history I fail to see how she'll ever attain the life she wants.

I have to stop taking responsibility for other people's lives and just focus on my own life, which to be honest isn't in perfect shape. I have plenty in front of me to work on, so that's what you'll be seeing me do (if you stick around for the ride.)